328m-Year-Old Vampire Squid Named After President Biden (theguardian.com) 83
A newly discovered fossilized vampire squid has been named after the US president, Joe Biden, a team of paleontologists has announced. From a report: The Syllipsimopodi bideni, which has been described as an "incredibly rare" fossil, was first dug up in Montana and then donated to the Royal Ontario Museum in Canada in 1988. But it sat untouched in a drawer for decades until a scientist pulled it out for a closer look. Speaking to the New York Times, Christopher Whalen, a paleontologist from New York's American Museum of Natural History, said he first noticed the squid's preserved arms and saw small suckers in the rock. "This was sitting in a museum since the 80s and no one realized it was important," said Whalen. "We chanced on that importance because I happened to notice the arm suckers." The Syllipsimopodi bideni drifted across oceans nearly 328m years ago. According to Whalen, it is the oldest known ancestor of vampyropods, a group that includes vampire squids and octopuses.
The comedy potential in this is limitless (Score:3)
Ancient vampire squid? Come on. What is this, The Babylon Bee?
Arm suckers... does it have hair sniffers too?
You call that a joke? Now THIS is a joke! (Score:2)
How long was the knife he pulled out in the movie? Never seen it and can't even remember if I've read a clear description of Crocodile Dundee's knife. But websearch yields images and it must be at least a foot (30 centimeters) long. (If a knife is a foot, then what kind of shoe should it wear?)
Anyway, I expected the discussion to open with some kind of relevance ping. I see the story has been filed under "News", but isn't there a category for "Trivial News" or "Trivial Science" or "Trivial Veiled Political
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What about machetes?
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They call me the rhymenocerous,
my lyrics are bottomless.
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Shortest rap career in history.
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Still longer than Steve's. What kind of a rap name is Steve? Steve. Hmph.
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Trump squid steals a sea anemone to wear as a hairpiece. Sticks sand dollars in its shoes to look taller. Hates any fish that isn't white.
Fuck, man. There's just no way to make Trump funny. It's all just infuriating rather than funny.
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I wasn't aware that Trump's daughter had written in her diary about her father joining her in the shower. Biden's daughter on the other hand...
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No, she just said that the thing she shares in common with her dad is "sex"
Makes sense (Score:2)
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Dyson President. (Score:3)
Interesting way of saying your president sucks.
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Interesting way of saying your president sucks.
Damn sure would be funny if Elon was running Dyson right about now.
He'd run with this.
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Interesting way of saying your president sucks.
...and that he's a fossil
Congrats to the late night hosts. (Score:2)
They should at least be able to get one full monologue out of this announcement.
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They should at least be able to get one full monologue out of this announcement.
Hard to do when they have Biden's dick in their mouth.
Trump they would be having a field day with, but the Diaper-Shitter in Chief currently installed in the White House?
No way.
Sad.
What? You mean like Stephen "Let them eat cake" Colbert?
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Which they can and will do, because the left aren't afraid to criticize their leaders; unlike the brainwashed cult that is the right.
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I love how this is the funniest phrase conservatives have ever come up with. I mean in middle school this would be hilarious. I mean holy shit we can say this and not get in trouble? Look you’re an adult, you can say fuck Biden and nobody cares.
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Yeah but the reporter was just being polite, not saying anything against political. The people using that now are saying it in place of "fuck Biden" because they're afraid to swear or something
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Yeah but the reporter was just being polite, not saying anything against political. The people using that now are saying it in place of "fuck Biden" because they're afraid to swear or something
Well the basic premise is that the crowd was saying something extremely offensive and the reporter's response was to (completely ineffectively) try to reframe it as something benign. And people attempting and failing is admittedly funny.
That being said, holy $!47 conservative culture is getting toxic!!
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Yeah, but you won't get bleeped or censored by the media for saying "Brandon"....saying fuck Biden will get you bleeped.
And hey, it's more child friendly....you can encourage your kids to join in!!
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Isn't that right Mr Gaetz? Mr Moore?
No. You're entirely missing it. (Score:2)
The crowd contained some number of people loudly shouting the chant "Fuck Joe Biden", and the reporter chose to LIE to her audience, on live television, turning a message hostile to Biden (a politician the nearly universally press support) into a chant of the name of the auto racer (a guy named Brandon) that she was interviewing. It was completely absurd, given that her audience could hear the actual chant, and the entire incident solidified the view of a third of the country about the press being completel
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Yeah ok, keep telling yourself that. Clearly it's not just people childishly trying to say "fuck biden", it's a protest against the media because of course the mainstream media sends its top people to interview nascar drivers.
What a bunch of clowns
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The squid name is fairly clever because it is a fossil that has been known about for decades, but gained its greatest notoriety somewhat recently. Unfortunatly the picture of Biden is larger than the picture of the fossil--I know what he looks like, I want to see the suckers.
(Speaking suckers: Trump fans see the reporter's bowdlerization of the NASCAR chant as a media coverup of a genuine grassroots hatred of Joe Biden (expressed by NASCAR fans in Alabama). I like Biden fine, and see it as an attempt to k
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They may be an adult but that doesn't change that they're chickshit.
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The narrator of that video doesn't even know enough about guns to know that it's called a magazine not a clip.
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> Look you’re an adult, you can say fuck Biden and nobody cares.
But Biden personally agrees with "Let's Go Brandon" so that's what people go with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?... [youtube.com]
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Let's Go Brandon!
Ahh yes, code for "my wife is also my favorite sister."
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Re: Come on man! Let's go Brandon! (Score:2)
Thing is, people who use this phrase are almost certainly supporters of the last guy, who was objectively *the* worst and least able president. Probably the worst human being of all of them, too, given all the credible rape allegations going back decades.
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No, genocide is far worse than anything Trump did. Andrew Jackson is by far our worst and most disgraceful president (not coincidentally, Trump admires him).
I remember reading about Andrew "Trail of Tears" Jackson back in a previous millenium, and thought, "thank God that won't happen again."
Well, shit.
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If it were only so benign.
"Let's Go Brandon" is a code that pedophiles are using to identify each other online.
Kept in the drawer for decades (Score:2)
And like that junk drawer in the kitchen just as useful.
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Just like Biden...
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Exactly, and as a rule about every two years or so I dump the contents of my junk drawer into the trash or recycling.
Not so much about honoring the President (Score:2)
It had more to do with the fact that this particular squid was Biden's childhood pet.
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Come on, man. Let the late night hosts write their own jokes.
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We all know the late-night hosts won't touch Biden.
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Um. What planet are you on? He's the president. If late night hosts couldn't pick on the president they'd be out of business.
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Um. What planet are you on? He's the president. If late night hosts couldn't pick on the president they'd be out of business.
They can pick on the President; they won't pick on Biden.
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What planet are you living on? Biden is under near constant criticism.
It just looks like nothing to you because the previous guy was openly committing treason.
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As someone that watches clips on youtube fairly often, they pick on Biden all the time. He doesn't say as much dumb stuff as Trump, but they're not starved for content
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Nah, they give Biden a pass.
They're still riffing on trump.
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To be completely fair, they do tend to go for the lowest of the low hanging fruit. And Trump gives them a LOT to work with.
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Nah, they give Biden a pass.
They're still riffing on trump.
Hmm, I wonder why [twitter.com].
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Nah, they give Biden a pass.
They're still riffing on trump.
Hmm, I wonder why [twitter.com].
So, I'm wondering...in this case, would the word "literally" be appropriate? As in, "Trump is literally tilting at windmills"?
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Watch and learn.
328 milli-year-old? (Score:2)
Memo to Slashdot editors: Please re-read the SI Units brochure, thank you.
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Reagan says "just say no" to the metric system!
This will show the duality of Conservatives (Score:2)
The Right will mock him over this.
Conversely Trump will be jealous and complain he didn't get a long dead mollusk named after him.
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Trump already has an animal name. He's a Russian mole.
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Trump already has an animal name. He's a Russian mole.
You say that even though there have been nothing to show he had anything to do with Russia. Plenty to show Joe Biden has Ukraine and Russian ties.
So you forgot all of those investigations that found - *NOTHING*?
They looked at his taxes - found nothing. Looked into anything else they could think of - found nothing. Threatened people and their families with decades in prison if they didn't cough up some dirt on Trump. Nothing found.
So the NY Atty General looked into his taxes again - Nothing found.
At this poi
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+ On election night men known to have ties to Putin and Russian oligarchs were with Trump and his kids as they waited for results. There are actual photos of who these men are.
+ Taxes - Yes, they've found "inconsistencies" which is one of the reasons they started the investigation even before he said he was running for office. Also the investigation isn't over with yet because they don't just want Trump in jail they want the kids as well. It took four years to collect evidence on Al Capone. It took longer f
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Conversely Trump will be jealous and complain he didn't get a long dead mollusk named after him.
At least, Trump has his name on this [theguardian.com].
Supposedly this wasn't done as an insult? (Score:2)
"Their decision to name the squid after Biden came as they were “encouraged by his plans to address climate change and to fund scientific research”, Whalen said in an email to the New York Times."
Or is this simply me not seeing sarcasm again?
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"Their decision to name the squid after Biden came as they were “encouraged by his plans to address climate change and to fund scientific research”, Whalen said in an email to the New York Times."
Or is this simply me not seeing sarcasm again?
Said person may have been sincere but naive. But there's always going to be a Brandon Boy(TM) or two in every group, and they were probably sitting there like Beavis and Butthead saying "Yeah! Yeah! Do it! heh heh".
Biden? Why not after our lord and master (Score:2)
Wow! that's some growth spurt! (Score:1)
384 meters in a year!
a good start (Score:2)
Now let's make sure that *all* of our politicians get some type of undead beast named for them.
Truth in advertising, you know . . .
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How appropriate! (Score:1)
An ancient tentacled blood-sucker. Wonder if it has Alzheimer's as well...
We've seen the old fossil Biden around young girls (Score:1)
There Has To Be A Spongebob Connection (Score:2)
Vampire Squid ... Biden ... ???
A fossil vampire? (Score:1)