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Can Talking to Strangers Make Us Smarter? (bbc.com) 72

Smartphones "have made it easier than ever to avoid interacting with the people in our immediate environment, writes New York City-based author Joe Keohane.

But is that always good? "Some social scientists believe teaching kids that literally everyone in the world they hadn't met is dangerous may have been actively harmful." For several years, I researched why we don't talk to strangers and what happens when we do for my book, The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World. This effort put me in the company of anthropologists, psychologists, sociologists, political scientists, archeologists, urban designers, activists, philosophers, and theologians, plus hundreds of random strangers I talked to wherever I went. What I learned was this: we miss a lot by being afraid of strangers. Talking to strangers — under the right conditions — is good for us, good for our neighborhoods, our towns and cities, our nations, and our world. Talking to strangers can teach you things, deepen you, make you a better citizen, a better thinker, and a better person.

It's a good way to live. But it's more than that. In a rapidly changing, infinitely complex, furiously polarised world, it's a way to survive....

Talking to strangers can also make us wiser, more worldly, and more empathetic, says Harvard University professor and MacArthur "genius grant" recipient, Danielle Allen. When she was teaching at the University of Chicago, Allen was repeatedly warned by colleagues to stay away from the poorer side of town. She believes that this "fear of strangers was actually eroding a lot of [her peers'] intellectual and social capacities". She declined to stay away, and did some of her most admired work in those neighbourhoods. She has since devoted her career to fostering connections between people and groups that otherwise would not interact. "Real knowledge of what's outside one's garden cures fear," Allen writes, "but only by talking to strangers can we come by such knowledge."

By talking to strangers, you get a glimpse of the mind-boggling complexity of the human species, and the infinite variety of human experiences. It's a cliché, but you get to see the world from the eyes of another, without which wisdom is impossible.... When these interactions go well — and they generally do — the positive perception of the stranger can generalise into better feelings about people. For me — and many of the respected experts and complete strangers I've spoken to — it comes down to a question of data. If I based all my perceptions of humanity on what is available through my phone or laptop, I would have a fantastically negative view of most other people.

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Can Talking to Strangers Make Us Smarter?

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  • And argue against it! It'll make us look smart!

  • they usually mean "don't talk to the creepy looking guy who offers you candy in the back of his van."

    At which point did it become an expression for bigotry?

    • they usually mean "don't talk to the creepy looking guy who offers you candy in the back of his van."

      At which point did it become an expression for bigotry?

      When you say "creepy looking guy who offers you candy in the back of his van" you probably mean something like this [imgur.com], right?

      But what if what was something like this [imgur.com]?

    • by swell ( 195815 ) <jabberwock@poetic.com> on Sunday October 30, 2022 @11:29PM (#63011533)

      I've learned that every adult on this planet has knowledge and experiences that I have not had. There is literally nobody who can't teach me something. I have come to enjoy meeting people, and the more they differ from me, the more interesting the experience is.

      I know, many are afraid, especially if you are young and feel the need to conform to pressure from peers. You meet a blind person, a wheelchair person, a minority person, a female person, a homeless person, a foreign person and you are afraid. Maybe not in physical danger, but in danger of looking foolish or saying something inappropriate. Go ahead and say it with a sincere openness--your attention will be welcome. A new world will open to you.

  • Social battery (Score:5, Informative)

    by hdyoung ( 5182939 ) on Sunday October 30, 2022 @06:52PM (#63011153)
    It’s a totally real concept. I watched my kids take a full 12 months after the lockdowns to re-train themselves to interact easily in a crowded social environment.
    • It’s a totally real concept. I watched my kids take a full 12 months after the lockdowns to re-train themselves to interact easily in a crowded social environment.

      I watched grown adults between 2016 and 2021 lose an average of 70 IQ points whenever attempting to discuss politics or current affairs, so I guess it comes down to whom you talk to.

  • If it's someone who is smarter than you, it can have that effect.

    If he's the usual dimwit on the internet, the answer is probably no. But at least it makes you feel good, knowing that you're at least not THAT stupid.

  • Talking to some retard who things We All Gonna Die! because some talking head on the TV said so is at best a lateral move for your intellect.

  • If the stranger is a zombie they will eat your brain. Lesson learned...
    • I've been lucky so far. Zombies eat brains, so I am definitely not on their menu.

      Talking to people outside your echo chambers is one of the best things that can be done, just because the political climate fosters the we-vs-they mentality, and not playing to that puts one at an advantage.

    • by clovis ( 4684 )

      If the stranger is a zombie they will eat your brain. Lesson learned...

      The best thing about encountering a zombie on the street is they never ask for money. It's one of the ways you can tell if it's a zombie.

  • Or is this only good some strange old-school meat-space thing only?
  • Only in America (Score:3, Insightful)

    by VeryFluffyBunny ( 5037285 ) on Sunday October 30, 2022 @07:49PM (#63011239)
    If you go to most places in the world outside of the USA, people do meet & mingle & talk to strangers pretty regularly. And WTF with this drive-thru thing? Can't you walk to a cafe or restaurant & have a nice social drink or meal, or just hang out among friendly, open people? Seriously, I've lived in a few countries & met people from all over the world. Very, very few are unpleasant.
    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by lsllll ( 830002 )

      And WTF with this drive-thru thing? Can't you walk to a cafe or restaurant & have a nice social drink or meal, or just hang out among friendly, open people?

      Spoken like a single person in a city. When you have a family and sometime don't have time to prepare dinner, a drive-thru or pickup is the only way to put dinner on the table. I don't need to mingle with people in cafes and restaurants all the time. If I do go to a bar and break away from my friends for a couple of minutes, I'll mingle with strangers.

      • When you have a family and sometime don't have time to prepare dinner, a drive-thru or pickup is the only way to put dinner on the table.

        Spoken like an American. Drive through is not an essential service to family life. Pick-ups from restaurants are a different thing, as is food delivery. But Jesus you need to stop feeding your family trash thrown at you through your car window.

      • No. Drive thru is not an acceptable solution. It's sad & depressing. Take your family to a cafe or restaurant.
      • I can make dinner in far less time than it takes the insane line of cars at the local In N' Out Burger to get to the window.

      • I shudder to imagine how those heathens who existed before drive thru's managed to both have families and not starve. Sorcery, I tell you!

    • Actually from my experience, Americans are much more likely to talk to approach and talk to a stranger for no reason.

      Like I was just walking around with a camera and some guy asked me how it was going and if the lighting was good for photos. Someone else asked me what sort of backpack I had and if I liked it. At least in Europe, nobody will ever speak to you for no reason (e.g. asking for directions or something like that).

      • Ah, there's also the fact that American tourists & Americans in general have a bit of a reputation in Yurp. That's why most 'Muricans think we're rude & unfriendly. I can assure you we're much less so with each other. I remember some French students on an intercultural exchange with some US students. They complained that the 'Muricans just talked about themselves all the time, "I, I, I, me, me, me." The French just wanted to have intelligent conversations.
        • Oh, & then there's that cultural divide whereby people from the USA come across as used car salespeople & real estate agents: charming but insincere & always talking about how great they are.
    • by clovis ( 4684 )

      If you go to most places in the world outside of the USA, people do meet & mingle & talk to strangers pretty regularly. And WTF with this drive-thru thing? Can't you walk to a cafe or restaurant & have a nice social drink or meal, or just hang out among friendly, open people? Seriously, I've lived in a few countries & met people from all over the world. Very, very few are unpleasant.

      That's simple minded.
      We do drive-in or restaurants or (typically) cooking at home depending on the circumstances of the day. We have options.

  • Have you met any strangers? They're some of the dumbest people you meet!
    • “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” George Carlin
  • ...make you smarter? Yes. What a shock.

    That being said, my personal experience with talking to random people, is that given just a few minutes time...they start talking about something flat-earth or 9/11-truther level of stupid.

  • by PPH ( 736903 ) on Sunday October 30, 2022 @08:21PM (#63011287)

    One thing is for certain: They don't get much stranger than here on Slashdot.

    • Does talking to people on Slashdot make you smarter?

      • A few people. But that doesn't always mean it's a conversation at one level. There's a lot to be learned by observing human behavior and motivation. Whether I agree with a point of view or not.

      • by Whibla ( 210729 )

        Does talking to people on Slashdot make you smarter?

        Or wiser? Or less ignorant?

        Smarter is such a broad term that, with optimistic assumptions about the capabilities of the poster's mind, and interpreting the set of people we're drawing from as 'not exclusive', the answer to that is unequivocally yes. The problem with these assumptions and interpretations though is that they are both subjective and certain to be variously untrue on an individual level, at some point(s). The certain yes becomes a mere 'it might'.

        To approach from the other direction, can we ima

        • The term would be "more stupid", since "dumber" actually means "less able to speak" if you take it literally.

          Let's come at it from a different angle: does Slashdot make your functional IQ lower for some period of time?

          https://collectivehub.com/2017... [collectivehub.com]

          If something as simple as checking your email constantly can lower your functional IQ, imagine what Slashdot trolls and off-topic posters can do to your mind? Judging by some of the regulars left here, it isn't anything positive.

  • by dskoll ( 99328 ) on Sunday October 30, 2022 @09:16PM (#63011355) Homepage

    I have three kids. When my oldest was doing activity like ballet, etc. smartphones were not yet a thing. When I took her to ballet, I'd hang around with the other parents and we'd chat and socialize. Same with my middle kid.

    Fast forward 8 years to my youngest kid. When I took her to her activities, all the other parents were nose-deep in smartphones and ignoring one another. Made for a very cold unfriendly experience. I fear the results of a generation that doesn't know how to interact with others in person.

    • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

      by thegarbz ( 1787294 )

      I fear the results of a generation that doesn't know how to interact with others in person.

      It sounds like you may be an extrovert and expect all others to be as well. Sure the occasional person is a smart phone addict, but largely a lot of people have an inherent desire to avoid other people. If you were among parents supporting children and they were all talking to each other, there's really good odds half of them were introverts pretending to be extroverts so that they weren't ostracised by society.

      Smartphones are a great excuse for people who never did want to communicate with others to avoid

      • by tlhIngan ( 30335 )

        It sounds like you may be an extrovert and expect all others to be as well

        Can we get rid of this stereotype? All extroverts are not social butterflies, just like all introverts need to recluse themselves.

        You can have extroverts who would prefer a quiet day at home, and you have introverts who enjoy fluttering about with other people.

        The only difference is where they get energy from. Extroverts get energy and life from being with other people, while introverts get their energy from being alone at peace with

      • by dskoll ( 99328 ) on Monday October 31, 2022 @08:16AM (#63011965) Homepage

        BUZZ, thanks for playing. I'm an introvert. But I'm not unsociable, which is a completely different thing.

        • Oh amazing. I've never met THE introvert before. Since you speak for all of us I have so many questions. Why do our opinions differ on the topic. Please lend me your guidance, I'm so desperate to learn why you specifically are the model person for our personality trains and want to understand how I can be more like you.

          I wasn't playing, at least clearly not the same game you were.

          I'm an introvert. But I'm not unsociable, which is a completely different thing.

          Interesting you should publish some books on that. You'll be upending quite a large body of personality trait theory. There'll be

  • You have to be at least 75% as intelligent as the person you're communicating with to understand what they're saying. If you don't understand them, you think they're an idiot. I can personally vouch for the swaths of people on here that fail that check daily. At the double threshold everything starts looking like magic to the lesser.
  • by Gorshkov ( 932507 ) <AdmiralGorshkov@ ... com minus distro> on Monday October 31, 2022 @12:39AM (#63011571)
    One of the things my father (grade 6 education) beat into my head non-stop when I was growing up: "The only person you can't learn from is the one you don't talk to".
  • Who has time for idle chitchat? Also in big cities you have learned most anyone approaching you wants to sell you something or is asking for a handout or, for the opposite sex, they may be looking for a date. So you always have your guard up and a wary feeling.
  • ... they hadn't met, is dangerous ...

    I notice parents trying to isolate their pre-teen children from the world: Children are prevented from learning that being in public is an unpleasant and vulnerable experience and we all need to set boundaries. Contradicting that is dating sites where men and women think they can fuck Angelina Jolie or Ryan Gosling. Puberty and the need for sex throws teenagers together, where they learn everyone is different, and probably weirder than they act in public.

    Outside that, everyone is reading what their fr

  • It's free. For now.

    • Conversing with somebody armed with a set of scripts is unlikely to broaden your view or give you insights.

  • Talking to "strangers", who can be virtually anyone, but are often people with different backgrounds, beliefs, outlooks and customs, but almost always have the same hopes, desires, frustrations and fears that I have makes one far more than just "smarter".

    It makes us more caring, more empathetic, and more understanding, perhaps most importantly less fearful. Which I believe is a way to less hate in this world.

    I am now a 75 year old retired engineer, but in in 1971 -1972 I lived near a small village in
  • But what REALLY makes you smarter is getting into the back of their van for the free candy!
  • Many years ago, I would haul my guitar and amp to a friend's basement on Thursday nights. I met with 4 guys, and we would jam.

    I was the only one who didn't speak Polish, and there were two who only spoke Polish. I was easily the most proficient - years of classical training - and the others ranged from a decent piano player to somebody who had no ability whatsoever but who could plunk single bass notes on a keyboard and sometimes even hit one in tune.

    We recorded EVERYTHING. Tape started at 7:00 p.m. and did

    • Ah f*ck... tripped at the finish line. Not "common understanding". Diverse forms of understanding, but with open lines of communication.

  • There are a *hell* of a lot of people who are growing more and more terrified of, like *talking* to other people.

  • So long as it isn't Joe Biden or John Fetterman. I can only take so much eduation on the ittsy bittsy spider...

All seems condemned in the long run to approximate a state akin to Gaussian noise. -- James Martin

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