The Gasbag Stays -- Exclusive Poll Results!

Fresh from the world's first known Media Gasbag Referendum, the (somewhat) Humbled, Bloodied but Unbowed Gasbag Stays On.

Surviving the World's First Interactive Media Vote.

Or: How I Was Supported Within An Inch of My Life.

The good news about interactivity is all the feedback. The bad news about interactivity is all the feedback.

Watching Newt's head roll last week while Sam, Cokie and Tim all retained their anchor slots, unashamedly and self-righteously gassing on as if they've haven't been wrong all year and nearly wrecked the country, I got the idea that giving readers of gasbags' readers a chance to vote them in or out was a truly revolutionary idea -- one especially well-suited to the Web.

Honestly, I didn't really expect to get tossed. Geeks are prickly and blunt and have notoriously short fuses, but they are not, in my experience, interested in booting people out, having experienced rejection too often themselves. And they are complete suckers for new ideas,of which I am one. But had most people wanted me to, I was definitely prepared to go.

Voting Your Own Media. It's a first, as far as I know, on-line or off.

Think about it: if journalists were accountable for what they wrote and said, and had to answer for it the way Newt did, media would be transformed overnight. And for the better. The Republicans, however grudgingly, are changing course. Are Washington journalists?

Perhaps we started something big. This is one meme that should spread.

I've been writing about and corresponding with nerds and geeks for years now, but the Slashdot poll response took my personal experience with interactivity to a completely different level. I will take some time to read through all the global e-mail, but I've gotten to much of it. I got a 24-hour doctorate in geek life. The messages, in no particular order, were overwhelming and clear:

l. Stay.

2. Get rid of those "?" marks in my copy immediately.

3. Write shorter.

4. Write less formally.

5. Install Linux as soon as possible.

6. Avoid writing about historical contexts.

7. Learn.

Good messages, except perhaps for number 6.Geeks are notorious for ignoring history and for thinking they're inventing it, and I'm obsessive, almost fanatic, about remembering it and reminding them they haven't. There's a good reason Utopians -- I saw a lot of them during my time writing for Wired Magazine-- are called the "Fools of History." It's mostly because they fail to learn the many lessons about technology scattered throughout human history.

Otherwise, I get it.

From the first, I've believed interactivity makes for better journalists and writers, if you can stand it. I can. I got lessons in geek history, mannerisms and culture. Warnings about being U.S.-centric. Tips on switching to OSS. Lectures on auto-formatting, smart-codes, ASCCI, HTML and Linux code. I got screeds about why MS Word truly sucks, and apologies for and explanations of geek intolerance, impatience,and short attention spans.

Meanwhile, those "?" proved stubborn. People thought I was indifferent to their appearance, but I've been scrambling for days to get rid of them. Despite hundreds of suggestions for solving the problem from veteran, combat-trained geeks, it was Rob (Cmdr Taco) Malda and a young geek friend in Chicago, Jesse Dailey, who came up with the solution -- write the columns as e-mail, send them to myself, cut and paste them into the Slashdot contributors' channel. It's an ironically simple solution, but at least it might keep me from getting roasted alive when I write for Slashdot.

By now, it's clear to everybody that I use Microsoft Word 98 and a Power Mac. I also use Netscape Navigator. Buying Word is the only money I've ever given to Bill Gates. While I am second to none of you in my fear and loathing of mega-corporations, Word has reliably seen me through the writing of seven books. I can't quite bring myself to hate it. But I'm going to try to install and learn Linux as soon as I can, and have lots of eager Tech Supporters.

So of course, I'll stay, at least until everybody changes their minds or Rob tosses me out.

After all, you can't beat the money or the perks. And my boss is named Commander Taco.