Review:Star Trek Insurrection

Last night I witnessed the modern spectacle that is Star Trek:Insurrection. Hit the link below to read my review of the movie. The short summary: I can think of a worse things to watch, but I'd have to think pretty hard (a Full House marathon?)

It was crap. Actually, I think crap would have been better than this. The plot (if it can be called that) involves our favorite gang of federation officers going to investigate some craziness on a planet in a part of space known as "The Briar Patch". But don't worry about it, it doesn't matter.

I had high hopes- I thought that last Trek movie was great. I thought Frakes had proven that he could make a good movie. This bomb overrides that thought, and replaces it with a sense of doom and despair that I hadn't thought possible.

The acting was rancid. Star Trek has never been known for quality performances, but this was even bad for Trek. The special effects were cheesy. The vast majority of shots basically scream "SOUND STAGE" at full volume. The plot was terrible, uninteresting, boring, predictable. The "Jokes" were offensively unfunny.

In short, this movie was worse than Star Trek V, which also, was complete crap.

Do not watch this movie. Do not consider seeing this movie. You will hate yourself for seeing this movie. Especially if you are a Trekkie. If you dig Trek, you will hate this movie even more. On a scale of 0 to 10, this gets a -2.

My favorite worst sequences (some spoilers) include one where where Frakes steers the Enterprise with a joystick. Plus every time a ship gets shot, steam shoots out of random places within the control deck, and someone has to go fix it physically. Plus our fearless officers never miss with their phasers. There are terrible shots where Troi and Riker are all flirty. And Worf gets a zit. I've seen worse movies, but I can't really think of any right now.