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New Years Resolutions From Assorted Nutcases 205

Posted by CmdrTaco from the it's-that-time-of-year-again dept.
Every year I pick a new years resolution and ever year it doesn't come true. This year I've opted to set my sights low so I can greatly increase the chance of suceeding for once. This year my resolution is to continue converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Read on to learn what resolutions RMS, ESR, Jon Katz, CowboyNeal, Mandrake and others have for the year 2000.

Jason Haas from LinuxPPC has the following resolutions: "248x768 @ 85 Hz, Merge my world domination plans with Linus's tree, Kawasaka W650:It will be mine (a Virago would be ok), Restart akido, and mv competition to /dev/null

Jon Katz , Slashdot's favorite gasbag says " I wish for Walt Disney to thaw himself out, climb out of his Cryogenimatronic Vault, show up at Walt Disney World and wreak havoc on the corporate weenies who desecrated EPCOT, his model city of tomorrow. Maybe join with the Seattle protesters and touch off a war against corporatist weenies everywhere. "

Emmett Plant is the latest editorial addition to the Slashdot Authors roster. His resolution is "to start a company called 'EmmettLinux,' which will be responsible for creating no product whatsoever. We will employ a highly-paid staff of fifty people who will show up every day and start throwing money into a furnace. I hope to IPO by March and use the cash to hire 2,000 more moneyburners and open an office in Hong Kong. I will leave soon after, selling all of my stock and retiring to the Bahamas."

Chris J. DiBona , Linux Community Evangelist for VA Linux Systems, President of SVLUG, and Grant Chair for LI, has resolved the following: ".Sleep is high on my list, but I really just like to have more time to read, this year has been pretty hard-core. I'd also like to spend more time learning power supply electronics, dc-dc transformers and such. I'm already pretty good with the digital side of things, but this is a big gap in my knowledge. Can I give more than two? I'd also like a puppy. A puppy with an X10 Cam mounted on its collar so I can put a "puppy cam" online."

Rusty Russell , kernel hacker and mad genius wishes to Learn to cook. Or trade kernel code for food. Or buy a fire extinguisher.

Eric S. Raymond is perhaps better known simply as esr... and if you don't know who he is, well, ouch. He resolves to " Catch up with my email and cut down on my traveling. It's nice to be needed, but 50% time on the road is getting ridiculous..."

Raster aka "That Enlightenment Guy" who is the only living person with more typos than me resolves simply to use procmail to allow more sleep time.

Mandrake resolves "I really need to start taking better care of my body. I haven't really worked out in about a year - and I eat too much garbage (junk food / fast food), and I REALLY need to stop drinking coke. I go through 2liters like most people drink cans of coke. I don't think it'll happen any time soon - but hopefully I'll at least be a little healthier by the end of the year."

Trae McCombs , aka X, aka MC, aka 'That Linux.com guy' resolves to "Learn to eat more foods, Incorporate working out into my lifestyle, Work less than 14hrs a day, Be kinder to others, Listen more, Talk less, Learn to code, Read more, Keep true to my ideals..."

Scott Draeker , the President of Loki Entertainment Software resolves to release a first tier Linux game which is not available for windows. Hard to argue with that one.

Kurt DeMaagd , aka The Pope, aka Rob's Roommate and the BSI number cruncher has the following:

  1. Combat bimetallism and establish the gold standard for currency.
  2. Negotiate the DeMaagd-Hay-Pauncefote treaty, allowing the U.S. to unilaterally construct an isthmian canal.
  3. Establish an American protectorate in Cuba.
  4. Suppress the Boxer uprising.

Mind you if you look closely at Kurt's resolutions, you might notice that they look strikingly similiar to President William McKinley's adminstration's high points. I'm going to have to up kurts medication.

Illiad , creator of the ever popular User Friendly comic strip says "I resolve to only take responsibility for those choices that I have control over. That means I have to give up on the idea of educating the technically-resistant, the doublespeak-inclined, and the village idiot."

Richard M. Stallman , founder of the Free Software Founding and the GNU Project gave us suggested resolutions for Slashdot readers: They are 1. Do not install any non-free software your computers and 2. Do not buy from Amazon until they stop using software patents for aggression.

CowboyNeal , the man, the myth, the legend. The guy who responds when users can't figure out how to login. The guy who maintains the slashboxes. And the guy who inhabitants the living room in the Geek Compound, resolves that he shall "Shower Every Week, whether I needs it or not." All of the co-workers in this office who have orafactory functionality thank him. It doesn't matter to me much either way.

Jim Jagielski , aka jimjag or jim@apache.org or jim@jaguNET.com, resolves to call sleep(28800) a lot more often.

Nitrozac is the creator of After Y2k... which as best as I can tell means she's about to work herself out of a job. But regardless she says "If civilization manages to hold on to its tenuous existence, I'd like to find a cure for Agalmatophilia, and have others join me to rid the world of this illness that causes so much needless suffering. If civilization crumbles, my Post-Apocalypse Resolution is to learn how to do 16-bead graphics on my abacus, so I can continue the comic. ;-)"

And finally (thank god because my wrists are tired) is Jeff "Hemos" Bates , a man who needs no introduction (but he does need a solid smack to the head).He says "With the coming of El Ano Neuvo, I resolve that I'm going to continue my battle against the dread forces of The Krull Invasion. I think that I might also try to learn some grammar. Per'aps. And maybe I'll learn how to spell a few more words as well".
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New Years Resolutions From Assorted Nutcases More

New Years Resolutions From Assorted Nutcases

Comments Filter:

  • I resolve not to hack (Score:5)

    by Zigg ( 64962 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:10AM (#1428843)

    In cooperation with the Clinton Administration's plea for there to be no hacking incidents on the eve of the new year, I resolve not to take out any of the code I'm working on and improve on it.

    I just hope the crackers don't do anything meanspirited tonight. :-)

  • sorry about that, my new years resolution, should I live to see the new year, is to never make another resolution.
  • This year I resolve to overtake the geek compound in a deft military manouver. When I am succeed, I will gain amin access of Slashdot and delete everything 'Jon Katz', thusly gaining popularity among newsreaders everywhere.

    When I am finished, I will return command to the boys currently in charge.

    And threaten to do it again if they let JK return.

  • Resolution (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    i resolve to pour more bowls of hot grits down my pants on a daily basis. thank you.
  • get the first post :) get more karma
    mvg,
    Kris "dJOEK" Vandecruys
  • and I hope it's a satisfying pee too.

    (Actually I'm gonna make sure I know vb...)

  • And I may clean this damn keyboard too! :)

  • I will pee on 14 copies of VB next year. :-)

  • I resolve to stop pouring hot grits down my pants.
    Uh... Errrmmm... I forgot, I've never poured hot grits down my pants. Never mind...



    Dive Gear [divingdeals.com]
  • I've never had a New Year's resolution before, and so I resolve to think up a a good resolution for next year, so I can start the new millenium on a good foot.

    Oh, and I won't be *too* smug when speaking to crackpot survivalists who are trying to find the receipts for all the canned food they bought :)

    Dana
  • Mine is to learn how to do the laundry, or actually do it, so I don't have to come home from college so often. I may code, but darn it if i know how to throw clothes into a machine.

  • Y2K (Score:3)

    by jbarnett ( 127033 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:19AM (#1428855) Homepage
    After the new year I reslove to crack down and find out what the deal is with this whole Y2K thing. What does it stand for and why does only a couple of elite people know about it? I wish their was some panic attacks about it so I could firgure out what is going on. Y2K; anyone know what this is/does/means?

    Secondly I am going to get some high karma. Oh yea, HEY moderator, yea you, jack me up a couple points will ya? Come on Mr. Moderator, it is new years, spead some points this way will ya?

  • Resolution of Y2K (Score:4)

    by loftwyr ( 36717 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:20AM (#1428856)
    I resolve not to sneak into my neighbour's yard at 12:01 and cut his power, phone and cable lines. I also resolve to stop causing excessive osmosis in my basement.
  • Moderate this down as flamebait, but my New Years resolution is to stop being a Karma Whore.

    catch it?

    -----------

    "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."

  • Life from an up-and-coming *man* (Score:4)

    by The_Jazzman ( 45650 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:21AM (#1428858)
    Hey all,

    Well come 2000 I will be of voting age (that's 18 here in England) so things from here can only get interesting ;)

    Anyway, resolutions :

    1) Sod the world, I've had problems with my happiness, was bullied at school and am now adored at college. So, if you're going to try to piss me off, you're now going to get a slap. I'm not going to take masses of crap from anyone any longer.

    2) Love. I am not going to go out with any more girls when I have a feeling in the back of my mind that something's not right. I've been cheated on with every one of these girls that I've had doubts about. No more.

    3) Work. I know that I am good at music and computing. When I work at it I can do amazing things. The time has now come where I'm going to stop being so bloody lazy and make myself into the person I know I am.

    These are my big three which I know I can achieve... number three is certainly going to be an interesting challenge, but I know that deep down, I *can* do it.
  • Working harder next year so I can afford more coke.
    Doing more coke next year so I can work harder.
    Working harder next year so I can afford even more coke.
    Doing even more coke so I can work even harder.
    Working harder than ever....
  • To Emmett Plant :
    Sorry, LinuxOne already thought about it ...
    To Chris J. DiBona :
    We'll have time to sleep when we're dead ...

    Happy new Year, century, mille^H^H^H^H^H
  • after the nuclear dust settles and i start a farm here in southern virginia i plan to take a trip across the giant desert that was once our great country on my hummer. I will come and visit you'll, and i will gather the materials nescessary to build my floating city. once my floating city is constructed i won't be able to leave, because i'll have too much work to do. But if any of you ever want to come visit my floating city some day i will greet you with open arms, all you must do is tell me "i just poured hot grits down my pants" and i will realize you are one of the many slashdot readers and i will welcome you.
  • So, in Spanish, there is a rather big difference between an n with a tilde over it and one without.
    I assume Hemos was talking about the new year, not a new ass.

    Of course, I've heard the stories about the Slashdot compound...

  • I resolve: To use 4 digit years (Score:3)

    by Money__ ( 87045 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:29AM (#1428864)
    Programers resolution: (say it with me)

    Starting this year in 99, I'll be using 4 digit years in all my coding in 00 and beyond.

    ;)
    _________________________

  • *I am the bully who made gradeschool a living hell for you and all your geek friends... and now I've found you!

    ...and I've been waiting for you for 32 years! I knew that katana would come in handy...

    /(o\ I'm not a medievalist - I just play one on weekends!

  • My resolutions are to find the woman of my dreams, win three Nobel Prizes (I don't much care which one, but medicine would be fave) and save the world twice. Son of the Righteous Fool Seek for the Sword that was Broken In Imladris it dwells There shall be counsels taken Stronger than Morgul Spells
  • My resolutions are to find the woman of my dreams, win three Nobel Prizes (I don't much care which one, but medicine would be fave) and save the world twice.

    Son of the Righteous Fool

    Seek for the Sword that was Broken
    In Imladris it dwells
    There shall be counsels taken
    Stronger than Morgul Spells
  • can get you prepared to be ready for the millennium. i resolve to throw crap away and not be a packrat (except on my hard drives.)
    i also resolve to ignore their/there/they're mistakes, but not its/it's errors.

  • Internationalize Slashdot (Score:5)

    by Greg Merchan ( 64308 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:31AM (#1428869)
    Hemos, Hemos, Hemos,...
    You must remember to put the tilde in your new years resolution and learn to spell.

    El Ano Neuvo == The Neuvo anal sphinchter.

    El Año Nuevo == The New Year
  • I hereby resolve to actually install Linux on my Dual Pentium box and actually do something useful with it as opposed to being a big weany and just tell everyone that I've already done it...
  • for stealing my nick! :)

    Happy new year, whenever it hits ya!


    Pope
  • ...is to make no more new years resolutions.
  • my res for last year was to make a friend at ontario hydro and persuade him/her to flick the switch at midnight(the ultimate prank) sad to say but with only 13 hours I may not complete this one. oh well another one bytes the dust. this year? well mine is well a little less destructive. my res is to get my truck painted 1 color with no primer and no duct tape... well maybe the duct tape can stay... the moral of me wasting your time? new years is just another day and if you need an excuse to get something done then it probably won't happen. eg) NT---Blue Screen NT -- Uptime Nt -- Y2K compliant???
  • 1024 by 768. And "Kawasaki". Embarrasing, considering I'm always fixing other people's spellings. ;p

  • Re:Internationalize Slashdot (Score:3)

    by Greg Merchan ( 64308 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:35AM (#1428875)
    And I resolve to use dict before posting and not after.

    s/sphinchter/sphincter/

    Can I say I was trying to be ironic?

  • News Progress Report (Score:5)

    by Money__ ( 87045 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @04:35AM (#1428876)
    News Progress Report from the Y2K project
    Subject: Y2K
    "Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.

    We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak

    I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?

    Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We'll await your direction
    _________________________

  • I resolve to have at least a 64% spelling Margin of Error.

    I resolve to train an army of geeks and storm Microsoft's headquarters, based on my success in Starcraft, Quake, and Rainbow 6.

    I resolve to give a hoot, and not Pollute

    I resolve to get the world record for number of altoids consumed

    Awwww. What the heck.. It is to much work anyways

  • ...I will have a better year than I did the last. I've had that resolution for 6 years now and it's worked up til now!!

    Of course, this year will be easy as I'm out of school and moving to Sillycon Valley for a RealJob (tm)

    Doesn't it make you feel good to search something like dice.com for the work "Linux" and find over 2000 hits? I know I get all warm and fuzzy inside.

  • That can't be Katz' resolution! (Score:2)

    by Anonymous Coward
    He didn't say "Post-Colombine Era" or anything!
  • If every code writer this pernickety, there might be a few less mistakes, hmm?

    Grail-worshipper

    For Isildur's Bane shall waken,
    And the halfling forth shall stand.
  • Check out Cookwise [fatbrain.com] by Shirley Corriher. Truly a Geek cookbook -- no it doesn't have recipes for Coke and Hoho casserole, it's just the kind of cookbook that Julia Child would have written if she had a degree in chemistry (in fact, Shirley is who Julia calls when she can't get a recipie to work).

    She goes behind the lore to the science of cooking; down to the chemical and physical properties of the ingredients. As a result, not only are the recipies unusually reliable, but relatively simple for the results you get.

    Amaze your mom with hard boiled eggs with yolks that stay as yellow as butter! Make grandma envious of your incomparable pie crusts! Win the heart of that gal down in accounting with chocolate cakes that equal or exceed those from the fanciest bakery!

    Remember: Knowledge is Power; Science is Knowlege; and Cooking is Science.

    Good luck, and have fun!
  • Oh, come on.

    After tomorrow, we'll be able to go back to using 2 digit years, because it won't be a problem for another hundred years, and we'll be dead then -- or we'll be sitting in our retirement homes laughing our asses off.

    ;)

  • Sorry (Score:1)

    by lohen ( 122373 )
    Sorry, I should have used Plain Old Text. See the next one down if you'd like it clearer.

  • But y2k is now past. We could safely use 2 digit years again!

    Okay, fine, maybe that's a bit extreme. But I'm sure 3-digit years would be adequate. If people are still using my horrendous code in the year 3000, they deserve what they get.

  • It was a little overstated for irony, so I'd call it sarcasm, but say what you like.
  • you're Wesley Crusher, aren't you?
  • Doing even more coke so I can work even harder.

    I hope you're talking about Coca-Cola (R) =)

    -pos

    The truth is more important than the facts.

  • I resolve to boycott any product with the number 2000, Y2K, or millennium (or any "clever" variations on the words) in its title.

    Exceptions are 1. a calendar. 2. If Apple starts adding year numbers to its machine lineup since there isn't much other way to tell a spring 1999 powerbook from a fall 1999 powerbook except for the keyboard color. i.e. user says I have a Powerbook G3, Admin asks "original, bronze keyboard, or [whatever distinguishes the next version]?"

  • 2) Love. I am not going to go out with any more girls when I have a feeling in the back of my mind
    that something's not right. I've been cheated on with every one of these girls that I've had doubts
    about. No more.

    I vow to continue seducing your girlfriends ;)
  • VB - If you're to stupid to use a computer
  • Using SwitchRes, I can do 640x780 on a PowerTower. I have no idea why it works, but it's a legal resolution on the MacOS. Weird.


    Pope
  • LOL!

    Assuming, of course that the retirment home survives "Boris Yelsins' finger-on-the-button drunken new year".

    I can picture it now, Jan1 2000 headline picture of Boris Baby wearing a goofy new years hat holding a 1/2 empty 5th of Jack in one hand, and a picture of Natilie Portman in the other while he sits on the nuclear launch button.

    "I'm Peter Jenings, more news later, after we take this comercial break, giving Diane a chance to pour hot grits down my pants."

    [bumper]
    .. ..more americans get their grits from ABC than from any other grits source . . "
    _________________________

  • Get lost, trekkie. Do you know what we do to your kind round here? HOT GRIT!
  • Besides resolving more DNS entries... aka, more web surfing, I plan on getting up off my computer (what a shock!) and seing the (dare I say) world. Also I want to get a bit more active in the Linux community, learn C, get my MCSE (I'm sorry, but I need the dough), learn PHP3 and 4, fix my Linux IrDA problems, install a Linux kernel on an SH3 processor, make Bill pay for his crimes against humanity, and make more prhases with my Fridge Code.

    Happy New Year's Slashdotters!

    Phaser6047
  • First of all, IANAC (I am not a chemist, for the acronym inference impaired), but I don't remember ever hearing of the human body performing this process. Sorry if I've burst your bubble yet again, but maybe you should have resolved something simpler than turning oxygen into carbon dioxide. Something like maintaining homeostasis perhaps. Or growing fingernails... Feel free to bash me over the head with pointy things if I've made a fool of myself... or maybe just laugh.
  • My resolutions are the same as the ones proposed by RMS, with the addition of:

    3. Do not install GNUstep until the non-free icon situation is resolved.
  • Well, when I left work, I had to throw the switch. Or else no one would go home. "I need to go to a party, so everyone get out!" Seven substations and an electric buggy to drive between them, click, click, click, click, click, click, turn off the emergency firepump, click. Have a happy new year!
  • My new year resolution is for higher X resolution
  • Perhaps... Just _perhaps_

    He was referring to the natural process of respiration...

    (fill in the blanks)
    Where the body breathes in _____________
    and puts out ____________ _____________

    Perhaps?

    -C

  • Re:Y2K (Score:1)

    by panda ( 10044 )
    I can't moderate and post in the same article, so I guess I can't moderate you up.

    I resolve to be a better moderator for next year.
  • Yes the body breathes in air (something like 70% nitrogen) and breathes out air (mostly nitrogen still). In this process the body removes oxygen from the air. However, I wouldn't call this process converting oxygen to carbon dioxide anymore than I'd call it converting oxygen into nitrogen. Am I off my rocker?
  • Definetly! 1-2 times a month is just not enough
    J.
  • you're being persnickety. You know what he meant.
    Just cause he posted the words here on slashdot does not mean he has to hold a Doctorate in Bio, nor does it mean it has to be technically correct.

    You know what he meant. Quit being a twit :)

    -C
  • I'm only making one resolution. I resolve not to make any resolutions. Oh, drat! I broke it already!

  • I Resolve: (Score:3)

    by Effugas ( 2378 ) on Friday December 31, 1999 @05:20AM (#1428911) Homepage
    I resolve that, my copule hundred line todo list will shrink. I shall transform it from a fantasy document containing tasks that would take me but one caffeine motivated evening yet have remained unfulfilled for years on end, into a lean, mean, "cool shit I haven't yet put onto my killboard" machine. (As such, I now have a ridiculously massive list of resolutions. Great.)

    I resolve that, I will care despite the pressure not to, and plunge forward in face of the obvious risk.

    I resolve to be less surprised by life making literary sense. Foreshadow this!

    I resolve that I shall watch more of the Simpsons, and share in the tragic truth that only an animated show can so skewer so many disturbing aspects of society and still get away with it.

    I resolve that I will somehow meet this "CowboyNeal" guy that Rob keeps beating on.

    I resolve to learn about such modern concepts as "responsibility", "professionality", and "security through inebriation".

    I resolve to end this list.

    Yours Truly,

    Dan Kaminsky
    DoxPara Research
    http://www.doxpara.com
  • Mi resolución es ser más consecuente con mis ideales, ser más activo, ser más amable, ser mejor en lo que soy bueno, superar mi falta de comunicación, gastar menos tiempo en distracciones viciosas y luchar mucho más por conseguir lo que quiero en la vida.

    My resolution is to be more true to my ideals, to be more active, to be more nice, to be better in what I'm good, to be no longer communication-challenged, to waste less time in bad distractions, and to fight even more to obtain what I want on my life.


  • a) keep an eye on SourceForge [sourceforge.com]
    b) help out with WorldForge [worldforge.org] (no relation)
    c) finish the G27 gigs page
    d) actually finish any project that I start
    e) quit smoking again (cigs that is)
    f) keep at least one of my new year's resolutions this year.

    numb

  • I agree. I know what he meant. But there is nothing you can do to stop me from being a twit! 8^)

    Happy New Year!


  • Moderate this down as flamebait, but my New Years resolution is to stop being a Karma Whore.

    I know this is going to get moderated as a troll, but I intend to be an even bigger Karma Whore this year. I'm going to take the suggestion from the howto and continue pretending to be insightful. In addition I will pretend to be interesting, funny, informative, on-topic, and maybe even underrated if I can figure out how.

    numb

  • hey, this is a score 5 if i've ever seen one. this is exactly what i hoped to see in this article when i clicked on it. please at least consider moderating jazzman's comment up.
  • I resolve to stop working for a living and write more Open Source code.

    I resolve to get the critters out of my attic.

    I resolve to write 3,000+ words (or tokens) a day on my own projects: programming, documentation, or fiction.

    I resolve to get a new lifestyle.


  • Starting this year in 99, I'll be using 4 digit years in all my coding in 00 and beyond.

    I'm going to start using single digit years. At least for checks and stuff like that. I figure each time I have to write out a date over the next 10 years I can save my self the effort of writing an unnecessary zero.

    So, as of tomorrow the date is 1/1/0 as far as I'm concerned.

    numb

  • I'm a big fan of Nitrozac's comic [geekculture.com]... I think it's one of the smartest and funniest things to come out of the 20th century.

    What's bugging me lately, besides that millennium thingy... is why do normally intelligent people (including Cmdr Taco) assume the comic will be ending? (Nitrozac has made it very clear that it won't be ending, and that the comic will continue!)

    Perhaps they suffer from some kind of Y2-Brain Bug that prevents them from reading the first word of a two word title? After all...the comic is called After Y2K! [geekculture.com]

    Oh Nitrozac... cheers on standing up to the agalmatophilic idiots that try their hardest to spoil things around here! All the best in the New Year!

  • AMEN! (Score:2)

    by Myself ( 57572 )
    Moderate that one up!

    I've stopped eating at Burger King since they nabbed the Pokèmon contract.

    On a related note:

    I'm compiling a list of standard units.. football fields, breadboxes, Niagara Fallses, cow-skeletonization minutes, Encyclopediae Brittanica(sp?), Empire State buildings, and anything else that people frequently use as a basis for comparison.

    I'm thinking of adding "y2k" as the standard unit of hype, newsmedia-terrorism, consumer foolishness, and general bogosity.
  • I used to think vb was cool.

    But then again, that was back when I liked windows. A copy of slackware linux cured me of my illness.

    This year, I resolve to make Bill Gates' life a living hell. (Of course, knowing how responsible _I_ am, he has not a thing to worry about...)
  • Umm Walt Disney was cremated and the ashes buried at Forest Lawn.

    Quit pushing the urban legend. You might have the forces of the United Magic Kingdom after you...again.

    hehe

  • I resolve to pay my ISP bill in a timely manner so that they won't cut me off in mid-sen*7(^%#.@@`;NO CARRIER
  • maybe I'm just missing the artistic beuaty of this creation, but I am incredibly disturbed by that haiku. My only solace is the chance that the writer has started drinking early. Hopefully very early and in insanely large quantities.

  • Re:Convert oxygen into carbon dioxide? (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Aha! But in respiration, the oxygen you inhale is converted to water at the end of the elecrtron transport chain. Carbon dioxide is released from the broken-down remains of glucose molecules in the citric acid cycle (since the whole point is to oxidize glucose, and carbon dioxide is its most oxidized form). So one may convert oxygen to water, or convert glucose to carbon dioxide, but not convert oxygen to carbon dioxide!
  • "1) Sod the world"

    Ok, this is the second time I've seen the term "sod" used. The first time I thought it was a typo or something. Over here, "sod" is what a Yank plants flowers in. What is "sod" on the other side of the Atlantic?

    Jazilla.org - the Java Mozilla [sourceforge.net]
  • My New Year's Resolution is to break all of my New Year's Resolutions.

    I'm not quite sure how to go about it though.

    :-)
  • I resolve to train an army of geeks and storm Microsoft's headquarters,


    Ok, me, my mercenaries and fellow agents are in to storm Microsoft and leave nothing but a burning wake.

    Oh, and I resolve to be less violent this year.


  • I've got a thing against new year resolutions. I figure, if you see something that needs fixing, just fix it. If you need a NYR to get it done, you probably won't.

    I, though, have thought long and hard on several life-enriching improvements that I'm in need of making, so I'm taking this opportunity to just do them. I'd call them millenial resolutions, but I may actually do that when the millenium arrives a year from now.

    I hereby resolve, on the occasion of my realizing it, to take back my time in my life, and not let everybody else decide my priorities. This means my mother-in-law, my parents, my sister, my father-in-law and especially, my wife. My son is only 5, so he gets to butt in and remind me not to work too hard.

    I hereby resolve to put money near the top of my priority list. Money isn't everything, but everything costs money.

    There. It isn't much, but it will sure ease my stress levels, and help me get more done.

  • I should resolve to:
    1. Watch more shows on Broadway, and then
    2. Make more nodes about said shows in Everything2 [everything2.com].
    3. Maybe I should watch Putting it Together [puttingittogether.com] more often.
    4. Upgrade more of the parts in my computer (next stop: CPU, graphics card, and motherboard in that order).
    5. Find the right woman who shares my intrests, hang out with her, and dump her because she doesn't like one of my favorite actresses from the Theatre District. (Time required: five minutes, from first contact to the dump, give or take a "Slashdot/Quake3/Ruthie Henshall [ruthie.org] 0wnz" reference). Don't tell Roblimo about this. I can't take hearing him and his nice little lady of a wife.

    --
  • Besides, the TTBs have gone back in time to fix the bug so that we all will be able to use our computers tomorrow.
  • Theres a small chance this site won't be up come the roll around later tonite. Just in case; I want to go ahead, and wish every one a happy ne...Ack, screw it you lousy bastards!

    Actually! After a surreal visit to the local mega-grocery store today, and noticing the lemmings trailing out the doors with jugs of "Evian"; I emptied out my bank account ($15.05), bought a new toilet plunger (weapon), grabbed some meat from the deli (to ward of the monsters), and head back home to bunker in. When the impending apocalyptic bang comes down, I hope I mutate with the body features of a super: running, jumping, clawing, bloody-fanged beastie; so I can menace the hood and claim my dominance on the factions that form from the surviving population.

    After I take control of the city; I plan on bringing all the rest of the mutants to the capital city to help me control the rest of the state by inflicting anyone who opposes us with our acid spitting armpits and lazer beaming eyeballs. Once the entire state of Indiana is under the "Mutant Faction of Jack" law. We will begin to take control of the rest of the planet; enslaving the few tatter millions of helpless souls who survived the armageddon.

    If nothing happens, and everything is peaceful come Sunday morning. Then I'll guess I have to go wash my Jeep. Its dirty with all the snow this winter. 'Till then; Happy New Ye.. Ahhh screw it ya bastards!

  • short for Sodomite. Think Sodomy. Think anal sex.

    Bugger has a similar meaning, as in

    "Bugger yourself with a fish fork"

    ...from Black Adder.

  • As I have the misfortune to be on site at 1am GMT on January 1st this year, I have resolved to take 4 bottles of Moet & Chandon in to work with me for 3 reasons.

    1: If all goes well, no y2k problems occur and I can relax reading a book and sipping on my champagne to celebrate 3 years of effective y2k compliancy testing.

    2: If all goes wrong, I want to be in a suitably inebriated state before explaining to the MD of a large railway company why he can't sell any tickets on January 1st as the servers are down.

    3: If I can't get a train ticket home in the afternoon, I might as well stay in London and get drunk!!


    My other resolutions are as follows:

    1: Complete all 4 Tomb Raiders in one session without having to save, eat, drink, sleep or smoke.

    2: Following the luctrative nature of the industry this year, I intend to mail all of my customers and the media to alert them of the little known "true millennium bug" when the new millennium actually starts on January 1st 2001. Hopefully the media will hype this to extreme levels and I can retire next year having charged the equivilant of the national debt of Uzbekistan simply to run scripts and putt little "true millennium compliant" stickers on everything I see.

    3: Convince my mother that my job title is actually "Network Architect" in the hope she stops telling her friends her son "works in computers"

    4: Invite all my co-workers round to watch "Wargames" yet again while talking about the "good old days" of 8" floppy disks, gopher and 300 baud accoustic cups connectic to such wonderful equipment as Dragons, Apricots and my all time favorite, the Commodore Pet.

    5: Sneer at everyone who has not yet installed Gigabit Ethernet in their appartment purely to play Quake III with fellow nerds.

  • It's also chunks of grass, but in this context it means something similar to "to hell with" or "nuts to". It can also be used a noun, usually as a term of mild (and often friendly) abuse (silly/stupid sod for example). Less friendly would be "Sod off!"; not as offensive as "Fuck off", but could be bad, depending on tone of voice, obviously.

    As for where it comes from, given that most English curses are related to animals, sex or defecation, I'd imagine it's related to words like sodomy, sodomite, etc. Perhaps Tom Christiansen chan check in his OED.
  • I will put more of my "disposable" income to paying off my debt instead of to buying toys. I will work toward becoming financially independent, so I don't have to work for other people's agendas.

    It's Your Money or Your Life [fatbrain.com], after all.

  • Bah! All you people admitting your fallacies. To paraphrase Calvin:

    I don't need to make any New Year's resolutions. I'm perfect. It's everyone else that needs to change.

    Good luck meeting yours. I've already met mine.
  • This will be moderated down, but is it not true that the most effective tool against negative moderation is saying "This will moderated down, but...". ESR could be answering questions in the forum and a poster with a login could ask him what the fsck he was thinking when he wrote that piece of crap "Cathedral and Bazaar" and he wouldn't get moderated down if he used the special "This will be moderated down, but..." This will be moderated down, but keep that in mind next time you want to post about Natalie Portman.
  • I resolve to become a better person; sociable, kind, nice-smelling, considerate, polite, and above all, gain programming skills that can assist those in need!

    I also resolve to be SO drunk tonight that I won't remember these resolutions in the morning. (:

  • Bro, I have more karma than I know what to do with. Get a life.

    -----------

    "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."

  • e) quit smoking again (cigs that is)

    As opposed to myself. I resolve to quit smoking, because it tends to char my clothes, and people tell me the smell of burned flesh is not attractive. Heck, even getting my extremities lit so I can smoke is getting difficult, as I've burned off all my fingers now. (I'm typing this with my nose.)
  • ... is 800x600 unfortunately until I get a new monitor. :(

    -- iCEBaLM
  • {heard over the ship's PA system}

    Wesley Crusher, report to airlock 3.


    ...phil

  • Nitrozac [nitrozac.com]: "If civilization manages to hold on to its tenuous existence, I'd like to find a cure for Agalmatophilia, and have others join me to rid the world of this illness that causes so much needless suffering. "

    [sexuality.org]
    agalmatophilia: a fictional paraphilia, not yet observed as a syndrome, in which the sexuoerotic stimulus is a nude statue or model of a human being [from Greek, agalma, image + -philia]. Synonyms, statuophilia; Pygmalionism. See also pictophilia.

    I'm am so glad Nitrozac [nitrozac.com] is going to rid us of the "Naked/Petrified" people :) And she's French Canadian too ... yumm
    ---
  • Stop installing one piece of software a day from freshmeat.

    But that's whats keeping the HD companies afloat!

    Seriously though. Over the course of six months of 'cool new thing on FM, better install it', I've managed to shrink my 9 Gb of free space on the root volume to six. My /usr/local/src looks like I'm donating bandwidth as a CVS repository for hundreds of projects!

    Oh, yeah. My New Years resolution is to curb my addictions; I'm up to two packs of Lucky Strike and about four+ pots of coffee. I'm shooting for one pack of cigarettes and two pots of joe, 'cuz I'm not terribly sure my stress level will permit any further concession.

  • WTF are "hot grits" anyway?

    i dunno. ask bub [meepzorp.com].

    ======
    "Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16

  • Allow me to wish you all many hot grits pourings and some fine open source naked petrified natalie portman/etc etc coding in the new century!

    ======
    "Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16


  • by quonsar (quonsar@meepzorp.com) on 11:30 PM December 31st, 1999 EST (#188)

    EST my arse!

    ======
    "Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16

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