Take Me Home, I'm Drunk

Nereus writes "The BBC News is reporting on an interesting new software product developed by three undergraduates at the University of Aberdeen [and the Universities of Hull and Sheffield]. The University Leisure and Lifestyle Manager (ULL) is the ultimate student companion, helping in all aspects of life; from choosing text books, to getting home from the pub after a few too many. Hopefully it won't put an end to the traditional student pastime of waking up on a park bench after a night out, with a traffic cone on your head..."

Title of Post

[attaboy]

Shouldn't it be "Take me drunk, I'm home?"

lol!

[Grant29]

No matter how well the software is written, the real question is: Will it help me get a chick in the pub? Getting drunk and eventually getting home is the easy part.

--
Retail Retreat [retailretreat.com]

Clippy resurrected

[AtariAmarok]

"You seem to be writing a letter"

"You seem to be sleeping in and there is an exam in 13 minutes"

"Are you really sure you want to install OSS on that machine?"

Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[ackthpt]

Ok, I'm on home turf and can authoritavively state, "If you can figure out your cell phone then you ain't drunk."

Seriously, when I've been completely pissed I can hardly remember key sequences and don't even think about coding while drunk, all you get is code riddled with errors and a headache. Fiddling with fiddly little things with lots of buttons (some of which result in a most pleasing and satisfying 'Beep') requires dozens more firing neurons than lifting a pint. Best to just seek out that park bench, some warm snuggly newspapers and a traffic cone.

Re:Title of Post

[orrigami]

No, I think it is "I swear to Drunk, I am god".

on a smart phone? when drunk?

[QuantumRiff]

If i'm too drunk to walk home, I can't even hit the little buttons on my cell in the correct order, how the hell is that going to work?

In a related story

[AtariAmarok]

In a related story, the company reports that out of all the device forms in the catalog, the "inflatable woman" leads in pre-sales, followed by "Bit" from TRON and the Sonic Hedgeho "Tails" character.

Ah....

[jawtheshark]

I would have needed that back in the day. It would have helped me not getting picked up by the cops while sleeping in the ditch.

Ah, memories... I still don't exaclty remember how I ended up there. The cops were nice, they brought me home.

Park Bench???

[Lord_Slepnir]

When you wake up on a Park Bench? What kind of lame school did you go to? It's not even a night out unless you're either in de-tox, a cell, or in bed with something really scary looking.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Responsibility?

[shadowcabbit]

Whatever happened to people using their heads to make smart decisions on how to handle their day to day existence?

People really used to do that? Oh really. And I suppose you have a bridge to sell me, now.

some obvious jokes

[ch-chuck]

What is this, the Hitchhikers Guide to the University?

entry for University of Aberdeen - Mostly Harmless.

Re:lol!

[afidel]

Hmm, I wonder if there are any backdoors left by the programmers. Like say if certain attractive females activate the program they might get directed to the dorm of the programmer/malicious operator instead of their own place. Now THAT would be using technology to your advantage!

(*no I don't really advocate taking advantage of annebriated members of the opposite sex, it's a joke, laugh*)

Re:lol!

[Grant29]

Yeah, the freeware version probably would only let you get fat and ugly chicks. You gotta pay $$$ for the pro version for the decent chicks.

--
Retail Retreat [retailretreat.com]

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[dkleinsc]

I follow a different definition of drunkenness: "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

But...

[PeaceTank]

But does it get rid of the chick you ended up with after the one night stand the morning after?

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[BenBenBen]

I can attest that I and my friends were

completely smashed when the idea came to us that we should all throw our phones at the floor and see which one bounced higher

Is this an example of technology starting to resemble its owner?

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[shadowcabbit]

Thank God my phone has a voice dial.

[Command, please.] "N'm dial." [Name, please.] "Txycabcr." [Did you say: 'Texas Star'?] "No." [Did you say: 'Toxic Avenger'?] "Fuk no." [Did you say: 'Drunken idiot who can't speak straight'?] "Fuk yoo, I donwanna takk to [friend standing next to me]."

Re:lol!

[SEWilco]

No matter how well the software is written, getting home from the pub after a few too many is a hardware problem.
Both the transportation and snailspace avatar malfunctions are hardware problems.
The decisions leading to "too many" are software, but by the time this support call is made the damage has been done.

Re:Ah....

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, memories... I still don't exaclty remember how I ended up there.

I do. For $5000 you can have the photos, and remember, too. ^_^

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[Griim]

This reminds me of my friend who programmed the voice-command dialer in his phone, so when he says "I'm drunk!" it calls a cab company.

Re:lol!

[Anonymous Coward]

>Yeah, the freeware version probably would only let you get fat and ugly chicks. You gotta pay $$$ for the pro version for the decent chicks.

Can't afford '$$$', but would consider paying '$' for a version that gets me fat chicks who aren't ugly.

Take Me to the Pub

[goldfishbrains]

I'm still sober

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[denne]

The human brain has a fantasic emergency backup system. I have been told by my grildfriends that I came home one night in terrible condition laying flat out on the livingroom floor gurgling and repeating my VISA card number as answer to all her questions. Of course, i cant recall this.

Gator

[monster811]

Sounds like what spyware companies have been pushing for years...

Re:lol!

[cptgrudge]

Getting drunk and eventually getting home is the easy part.

You'd think so, wouldn't you? But I know a guy who had a bunch of trouble one night.

He went out to a few bars one night with friends, and they all ended up at a couple's house that they had met. After everybody went home, this guy decided to stay there, because he was too drunk. For some reason he slept on this couple's bed too when they all passed out. One of the two of the couple had pissed the bed in the night (he thinks it was the guy), and now this guy was sleeping in urine all night. The next morning found him with a bad hangover, smelling like piss, and finding that his pants had been ripped up when their dog decided to eat his wallet.

That's a bad night.

afterthought?

[moviepig.com]

"If students are into academia, then the text book service and the feedback on assessment will be handy."

If students are into academia???

Wonder what UofAberdeen's tuition is.

Re:Alcohol and Consumer Electronics Don't Mix.

[ackthpt]

This reminds me of my friend who programmed the voice-command dialer in his phone, so when he says "I'm drunk!" it calls a cab company.

"shay, doont I ken ye? Yoo pikt me up lotsa times frooma pub, yeah?"
"Yup, Mr. McLeod, home again, I assume?"
"Yesh. Boy, I godda stop drinkin sho mush, I hardly godda nuff money to pay yoos."
"That's alright, here let me take the fare out of your wallet, you seem to drunk to count it properly."
"Thanksh, yerra pal. Shay, win did you gidda mersaydees cab, looksh vurra nicesh."

Huh?

[AbbyNormal]

"traditional student pastime" ?

That was last night!

But where's the fun

[da3dAlus]

Of having your friends help drag your sorry ass from the on-campus apartments back to your dorm room, while waving at the cops who are driving past the party...and then when they get you in the room and throw you on your $5 Goodwill couch, your roommate turns and points, and does a Nelson Muntz "HAA-HAA". Maybe that's just me...

Re:Responsibility?

[JWSmythe]

sed -e s/qu/d/g; :)

Take Me Home, I'm Drunk

[JWSmythe]

"Take Me Home, I'm Drunk"

Isn't that the blonde mating call?

(good thing my girlfriend doesn't read here)

Re:lol!

[WwWonka]

No matter how well the software is written, the real question is: Will it help me get a chick in the pub?

If user == Reads_Slashdot goto Not_A_Chance_In_Hell

The perfect gift for any geek.

[blair1q]

"Now I don't need any friends," the geek says, "this is the best Christmas ever."

Re:Take Me Home, I'm Drunk

[RedShoeRider]

Interesting girlfriend selection process.

So to get a brunette, does that mean we have to listen to the phrase "Take me home, I need to study?"

Or a redhead: "Take me home, I need to fsck?"

Re:lol!

[mforbes]

It could be worse.

A guy I used to know, a reformed drunk, used to be in the Navy (whether or not the drunkenness had anything to do with getting out, I don't know).

One night in a foreign port he got particularly plastered, but managed to find his way back to the pier. He went onboard ship, found his way to his rack (bed? bunk? I have no idea what they're called on large ships), and promptly passed out.

He came to in the morning very groggy and for some reason hearing the ship's horn blast. He was expecting to be in port for several days, so this came as a bit of a surprise... until he realized he was on the wrong ship.

His excuse? "All destroyers look alike in the dark!"

scene in a bar...

[Cruciform]

Drunken Student: "...and so we all ended up in the lake. Hey, you want to get out of here? I've got a great view of the quad from my balcony."

Bar Girl: (smiling) Sure, I'd love ---

ULL Device: *beep* *beep* *beep*

Drunken Student: "Hmm? Just a sec."

ULL Device: Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Target female possesses adam's apple and male genitalia! High probability you've wandered into a tranny bar. This is not within acceptable parameters.

Drunken Student: "Umm, I forgot I have to write an important she-male, er e-mail, when I get home. Sorry, gotta run.

Bar Girl: (waving from the bar) "Call me?"

Re:turbo charged bar stool

[AndroidCat]

It just needs GPS and auto-nav. Be careful with it though. You might wake up on your way to Las Vegas, and that's bat country!

Mislead

[consolidatedbord]

I was thinking this was some kind of new dating service technique!

Re:non-ugly fat chicks

[pipingguy]

In the days of old, fat women used to be considered the most attractive, and often appeared in classical art.

That's because they had huge...tracts of land [sacred-texts.com]