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How to Become A Real-World Superhero 596

Posted by Zonk from the my-bat-cave-needs-cleaning dept.
utherdoul writes "Batman isn't from outer space and wasn't born with a mutant gene --he uses his riches, raw determination and technological know-how to equip himself to fight evil. So why couldn't the average geek do the same? I've written a story for Forbes.com that breaks down the Dark Knight's expenses and explains what it would cost to become a real-world Batman using commercially available training and technology." From the article: "Batman's suit is a modified piece of infantry armor built by the applied sciences division of Wayne Enterprises. It's waterproof, bulletproof, knife-proof and temperature-regulating. Paired with an impact-resistant, graphite-composite cowl and spiked ninja-style gauntlets, it allows Batman to protect himself against everything from swords to machine guns."
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How to Become A Real-World Superhero More

How to Become A Real-World Superhero

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  • Duh. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:52PM (#12876756)


    > Batman isn't from outer space and wasn't born with a mutant gene --he uses his riches, raw determination and technological know-how to equip himself to fight evil. So why couldn't the average geek do the same?

    Did you miss the part about riches?

    • Why doesn't anybody aim at his chin? (no armor there)
      All it requires is a sniper.
      • Sigh. Im starting to feel like a comic book nerd. It's actually quite pathetic. If I remember correctly Batman's cape is bulletproof also. All he has to do is throw up the cape and he is pretty much shielded. Also, the only major injury that Batman has had is a broken back by Bane I believe. During this time period he had to have another person replace him as Batman.

        • Re:Batman's weakness (Score:5, Informative)

          by techsoldaten ( 309296 ) * on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:52PM (#12877214) Journal
          Well, that depends on how you define major injury.

          - he has recevied wounds that resulted in broken ribs and broken arms (for that matter he has fallen from great heights in such a way that the reader would assume much worse);

          - he has occassionally suffered the effects of neurological toxins which rendered him incapable of normal function;

          - he suffered from a disease similar to vampirism that made him incapable of being out in the light;

          - he has drowned to the point of needing to be resuscitated;

          - he has been impaled and flailed to the point where blood poured out of his costume;

          Now, I am not enough of a comics geek to be able to point out issue / page numbers, but I fondly remember these events from the pages of the comics I read in my youth. I always thought he was the toughest superhero because of the predicaments in which he would be placed by writers.

          M
          • In a way, Batman is one of the LEAST realistic superheros. Superman is invulnerable, and Wolverine has a healing factor, but Batman doesn't have any of that. And I don't care how good you are, you'll get injuries that will at least slow you down, and make it more likely that you'll get MORE injuries until it's humanly impossible to continue as Batman does.

    • riches wont do you any good (Score:4, Insightful)

      by gad_zuki! ( 70830 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:54PM (#12877227)
      and if you had the riches what would you do?

      There are no cartoonish supervillians. "Street crime" is usually taken care of by the police and is really none of your business. Imagine some moron busting the heads of the local pot dealer out of respect for "justice." If someone is really concerned about the safety of their streets and trains then they can always get a Guardian Angels' t-shirt and the little matching beret and play vigilante.

      Big crime happens all the time by power structures like governments, organized religions, corporations, etc. The tools for fighting these nasties don't involve tights. They involve activism, raising awareness, getting others involved in politics, and other things that don't look real cool in graphic novels.

      Not to mention if you had insane wealth, you're probably part of the problem. Check the holdings of some wealthy people, they sometimes fund some very shady companies or governments which do some fairly nasty things. Real world problems are rarely fixed with just a punch in the face and a snazzy batmobile.

      I'm sure the editors of Forbes magazine have no problem with the worldview that if we just beat up some low level street criminals then everything would be fine.

      • Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)

        by deacon ( 40533 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @09:07PM (#12877640) Journal
        "Street crime" is usually taken care of by the police and is really none of your business.

        Not only is this bullshit, it is also the cause of much of the casual crime that goes on today. If you see an old lady being kicked on the ground by someone trying to rob her, that's everybodys business. Obviously, the police are not on the spot when crime happens. They just show up later to collect the bodies.

        If, however, you prefer no one helps you when you get mugged, I guess I'll respect your wishes.

        The rest of your "class warfare" rant is too foolish to bother responding to.

        • Re:riches wont do you any good (Score:5, Insightful)

          by gad_zuki! ( 70830 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @10:01PM (#12877895)
          >If you see an old lady being kicked on the ground by someone trying to rob her, that's everybodys business.

          Oh please, there's an obvious difference between being proactive and reactive. Most people engage in altruism everyday without body armor and a super cool secret identity. You're talking about reacting to something that happens to you; the comic-book superhero is the opposite: a vigilante that seeks out and prevents or thwarts trouble.

          So what are you going to do to *prevent* this little old lady from being robbed? Profile certain people? Illegally spy on others? Knock a few heads around to get some information? A bit of street torture? Maybe a lynching to teach bad guys a lesson?

          Wanna really help on the small scale? Become a cop.

          >If, however, you prefer no one helps you when you get mugged, I guess I'll respect your wishes.

          Sigh. Again, you're failing to understand the context of the grandparent post. Nice way to take things personally too.

  • Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:5, Informative)

    by winkydink ( 650484 ) * <sv.dude@gmail.com> on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:53PM (#12876764) Homepage Journal
    ans several years of your life for training.

    The Bottom Line
    Final Cost: $3,365,449

    The Training: $30,000
    The Suit: $1,585
    The Belt: $290
    The Car: $2,000,000
    The Cave: $24,000
    The Alter Ego: $1,109,574
    The Butler: $200,000

    • Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:5, Funny)

      by superpulpsicle ( 533373 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:55PM (#12876783)
      Recovering some old ladies $10 purse as a superhero: Priceless.

    • The Butler: $200,000
      Damn! A butler make $200,000? Why didn't my parents name me Jeeves?
    • Ofcourse, you do have beer commercials to pay it off...
    • The Suit: 1585$
      The Belt: 290$

      Im sure you are joking? I mean, for that money, you can get a good suit&belt, right.
      But certainly not a BULLETPROOF suite with radio transmitter in the cowl and sonar and whatsoever. And no belt with grappling hook and the other gadgets.

      IF it were possible to really create such equipment (very doubtful), i would guess for those 2:
      100-250K R&D (depending on niftyness)
      20-40K Building (its no mass production, plus it has to be confidential, you can just order batarangs at
      • Had you RTFA you would see that they claim the real batsuit would cost $300,000+ (at least that's what the movie claims), but it isn't available. So they suggest a bulletproof jacket and kevlar helmet for ~$1500. Lame substitute, but there you go.
        • oh... well after the two how-stuff-works articles, i didnt want to enjoy another add disguised as article...

          Well, that really sucks as a replacement. Because we all know that cops with cevlar and helmet NEVER get hurt or killed when fighting criminals... Yeah
          Its SO hard to hit the legs or arms, and even if you insist on hitting the torso, if you use a rifle the protected guy wont be happy after a short time even if the vest can stop everything...
    • I think 3.4 million is an underestimate. That car would be wrapped around a tree in a week.

      Anyhow, fostering the presence of a superhero is not a very cost-effective way for a city to lower its overall crime figures. Legalized abortion costs the public virtually nothing and has a much greater effect on reducing crime than competing strategies such as incarceration or tax breaks to encourage millionaire superheroes to relocate.

      • Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:5, Funny)

        by modecx ( 130548 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:36PM (#12877109)
        Legalized abortion costs the public virtually nothing and has a much greater effect on reducing crime...

        Is that kind of abortion of the postadolescent variety? Because a superhero might be able to help greatly with that, too!

        I can see it now: The Aborter. He's a mild mannered abortion clinic doctor by day, helping rid the world of unwanted babies... By night he's on par with The Punisher, except he has a custom-formulated serum that makes villians crap their intestines right out, resulting in a long, miserable (and incredibly messy) death! He also has sonar vision (don't ask how that happened, you don't want to know!) that can also detect "bad seeds", while they're in the womb!
        • I can see it now: The Aborter. He's a mild mannered abortion clinic doctor by day, helping rid the world of unwanted babies... By night he's on par with The Punisher, except he has a custom-formulated serum that makes villians crap their intestines right out, resulting in a long, miserable (and incredibly messy) death!

          I was thinking of something more along the lines of Tom the Dancing Bug's "God Man". [wikipedia.org] He prowls the streets, looking for criminals, and when he finds one, he goes back in time and either prev

    • Contrast (Score:5, Funny)

      by spellraiser ( 764337 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:10PM (#12876904) Journal
      City of Heroes account: $14.95/month

      It's a no-brainer. Also, we are geeks, right? Real life is a bit too ... real. Especially when it comes to engaging in violence with unsavory characters.

      Now, a badass remote-controlled robot to roam the streets, beating the crap out of the bad guys, that would be something else ...

    • save $224,000 (Score:3, Funny)

      by mojoNYC ( 595906 )
      The Cave =parents' basement
      The Butler =mom or dad

      you could probably save a significant part of the $1,109,574 by sticking with 'local geek' or 'comic book guy' as an alter ego...

    • Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:4, Funny)

      by ilsa ( 197564 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:47PM (#12877178) Homepage
      The Bottom Line
      Final Cost: $3,365,449

      The long version makes it clear that most of the goodies are made by, developed by, or otherwise courtesy of Wayne Enterprises. Now, granted, it's his company, and he can afford an accounting firm that can figure out how to write off $3.3 Million.

      But you would think somebody in R&D would at some point read the latest press on Batman say "Hey! I remember working on that project!"

      • Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:5, Funny)

        by AeroIllini ( 726211 ) <aeroillini@NOSpam.gmail.com> on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @08:09PM (#12877320)
        But you would think somebody in R&D would at some point read the latest press on Batman say "Hey! I remember working on that project!"

        I think the people in Wayne Enterprises all work on parts and pieces of the projects, never really knowing what they were for, and I think Alfred was supposed to be the one who assembled them into their final form. (I guess that means he also gives the Batmobile a tuneup once in a while.) With that sort of divide-and-conquer strategy, the only employees you'd have to keep quiet would be those in the Bat-Shaped Black Plastic Casings Division.
        • I think the people in Wayne Enterprises all work on parts and pieces of the projects, never really knowing what they were for

          And one day, they're going to wake up and find they've been transported to a mysterious, magical cave with compound numbers scribbled on the walls. One by one, they'll die to the traps until only poor confused Robin makes it out of the cave alive.

    • Re:Cut to the chase - $3.4 million (Score:5, Funny)

      by Diamon ( 13013 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:51PM (#12877211)
      Wow you can pull off an alter ego as a billionaire by barely spending a million dollars? I guess Wayne manor is just cardboard, duct tape and a coat of paint.

  • So why couldn't the average geek do the same? (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:53PM (#12876768)
    If you can't do it from the comfort of your terminal, it ain't worth it.

  • What? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Daedalus-Ubergeek ( 600951 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:54PM (#12876772)
    Batman isn't from outer space and wasn't born with a mutant gene


    Also, Batman isn't real.

  • Fscking Astroturf (Score:3, Insightful)

    by ewhac ( 5844 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:55PM (#12876780) Homepage Journal
    How much is Warner Bros. paying for these ads poorly masquerading as "news"?

    Schwab

    • Just be grateful there isn't one of those usual half-assed 'scientific' formulas attached, like V = G/2 + 5*J/3 - K + T*13, where V is Batman's success, G is the speed of the batmobile, blah blah bullshit bullshit bullshit viral marketing, etc. etc.

  • Main Problem: (Score:5, Insightful)

    by imsabbel ( 611519 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:55PM (#12876782)
    Even being totally l33t equipt and fit like Rambo wont give you the magic "perfect Luck" factor batman has.

    Even if your suit will stop 99% of all bullets, and your fit enough to beat thugs people into submission 95% of the time.... ... If you go crimefighting every night, after a few months youre chances of being a corpse in some alley are really really good.

    • A better plan... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by sterno ( 16320 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:19PM (#12876991) Homepage
      You could spend $3.4 million on the batman shtick, or you could spend that money on hiring a vigilante army.

      Think about it, what are they paying contractors in Iraq to do protection and security jobs where they are getting hsot at constantly. So pay for them, and then the equipment to arm them, and you'd have a wrecking crew far superior to you on your own.

      Figure $250K/vigilante/year for salary and benefits and you could hire 10 of these guys for $2.5 million. Then you'd have about $1 million/year to spend on equipment for them. Body armor, assault rifles, etc.

      Then whenever you want justice to be done, you give them a call and they crack some skulls for you. If you want, you can even give them bat ears to put on their helmet so they can keep with the theme.

      The best part is, you don't have to worry about getting bruised or scarred. You can go to your rich parties, party it up and know that you've kept the streets safe without personally lifting a finger.

  • ...also... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Otter ( 3800 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:57PM (#12876796) Journal
    So why couldn't the average geek do the same?

    Furthermore, the average geek doesn't need to "count on forking over $297,000 a year on gifts, including Tiffany diamond earrings and necklaces for your lady friends."

  • FTFA (Score:2, Funny)

    by not-enough-info ( 526586 )
    The Batman movie franchise is also one of the most lucrative of all time, with five movies (not counting Batman Begins) grossing nearly $1 billion.

    What is this mystical fifth film?

    1)Batman
    2)Batman Returns
    3)Batman Forever
    4)Batman & Robin
    5)???
    6)Batman Begins

    Oh I remember now.
    5)Batman My Ass
    • Let's not forget the 1966 classic featuring Adam West and Burt Ward ;)

      link [imdb.com]

    • Re:FTFA (Score:3, Informative)

      by Redwin ( 805980 )
      Actually there were 8:

      1. Batman (1989)
      2. "Batman" (1992)
      aka "Batman: The Animated Series" - USA (promotional title)
      aka "The Adventures of Batman & Robin" - USA (new title)
      3. Batman (1966/I)
      aka "Batman: The Movie" - USA (video box title)
      4. Batman Returns (1992)
      5. Batman Forever (1995)
      aka "Batman 3" - USA (working title)
      6. Batman & Robin (1997)
      aka "Batman and Robin" - USA (alternative spelling)
      7. Batman Begins (2005)
      aka "Bat

    • Re:FTFA (Score:3, Insightful)

      by D'Arque Bishop ( 84624 )
      Maybe he means Batman: Mask of the Phantasm [imdb.com]?

      Granted, it wasn't live-action, but it was a theatrical release, and it came out between Batman Returns and Batman Forever. It uses the Animated Series/Gotham Knights/Justice League continuity and was done by the TAS team.

      Frankly, I consider it better than the other live-action films, with the possible exception of the 1989 Batman.

      Just my $.02...
  • Sheesh.

    I started reading it this morning, and realized they were just tallying up stuff from the movie that just came out.

    This is quite pathetic, but hey, it's Forbes.

    Duh.

    Oh, I love the truly stupid part about the "fictional forbes fifteen" list of the richest fictional retards.

    Fuckabugaloo. :p

  • Dupe (Score:4, Interesting)

    by nfras ( 313241 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:59PM (#12876810)
    Looks remarkably similar in content to:
    http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/06/15/223923 1&tid=97&tid=99 [slashdot.org]
    and just 6 days later.

  • Ah yes, become a superhero! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Roofus ( 15591 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:59PM (#12876817) Homepage
    This reminds me of a quote from Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash:

    Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

    It's funny, because I used to think that exact thought. Then reality hit, and I realized I'm just a big pussy :(
    • It's funny, because I used to think that exact thought. Then reality hit, and I realized I'm just a big pussy :(

      But were you 25 when reality hit?

    • Re:Ah yes, become a superhero! (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Daniel_Staal ( 609844 ) <DStaal@usa.net> on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:23PM (#12877018)
      And why couldn't they, if they really wanted to? If they dedicated themselves to actually doing it?

      They might not be the baddest, but they could probably get close.

      Really, the difference between Bruce Wane and the most of us with that dream is that he decided it was more important than anything and everything else in his life. His life is filled with exactly two things: maintaining his cover, and being Batman. Nothing else matters, and nothing else exists.

      He never has time to watch a movie, or read a book. To try to meet a girl (outside of maintaining his cover, or another superhero). The company is run by others. He has no life.

      You may admire the choice, but admit the cost. Maybe you could have made that choice, if you had really wanted to. But could you have paid the personal cost?

      If you think it would be worth it, try it. A few have. They didn't start with the resources Bruce Wane did, but I've read articles about a few. (Sorry, can't find them at the moment.) People who dedicated themselves to being the best hero they can be.

      Most are trying to figure out how to have a normal life, how to fit in to the world.
    • Well, being a little less than 25 myself, I'm pretty sure those things are true.

  • $740 a month for Shoalin training?!! (Score:5, Funny)

    by sTalking_Goat ( 670565 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @06:59PM (#12876818) Homepage
    Man whatever happened to knocking on the temple door and waiting three days without encouragement

    These Chinese keep claiming to be communists but I just don't see it.

  • I think they really wimped out on the suit: the batsuit is a lot more than a bulletproof jacket and a helmet, and much of the technology is doable to some extent. While it may not be an "off the shelf" item as all the stuff they listed is, I'm sure anyone the wherewithall to do this sort of thing could get something a little more advanced than just a jacket...
    • I believe in the movie, Lucius Fox said the suit would've had a _production cost_ of $300,000. No mention of the development cost, though. :)

  • What happened to the batman geek? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by DoctaWatson ( 38667 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:02PM (#12876837)
    The batman I know and love from comics to cartoons to movies to even the hokey 60's Adam West has always been a brilliant detective and keen scientist.

    I loved Batman Begins, but I really think they missed the mark when it comes to Batman's CSI savvy.

    My head was spinning when Bruce Wayne says "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

    So if you want to be a real Batman, figure in another several hundred thousand dollars for advanced degrees in science and criminology.

    (Also... $30,000 + 3 years in China != the ability to fight like the movies, but only the keenly stupid would think otherwise, right?)
    • Haven't seen it yet, but did he say that as Bruce Wayne? If so then it would fit rather well, Bruce Wayne was meant to just Wayne Corp's pretty faced playboy. If he acted smart it wouldn't be in character.

  • GOD DAMN IT (Score:3, Insightful)

    by kenp2002 ( 545495 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:02PM (#12876839) Homepage Journal
    Well it's good to see yet another spot for a crappy movie. I am glad to see that while there is so much going on in the world in technology and geekdom in general we need to beat a 4 times already dead horse. Wow this is almost as bad as the last Batman commercial... speaking of which....

    I AM GETTING REAL FUCKING SICK OF THE FUCKING COMMERICALS ON SLASHDOT THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DISGUISED AS ARTICLES!! FIX THIS SHIT TACO YOUR SMARTER THEN THIS CRAP!
  • So why couldn't the average geek do the same?


    Because if the average geek tried to be the next Batman, they'd end up more like this guy. [rottentomatoes.com]

  • Why did nobody thought to shoot Batman in the chin. Through throat, into neck section of the spine. Unshielded area, quick death, easier shot than aiming at the eye. Also shooting the jaw off from the side would pretty much neutralize him.

  • "Secret" Batcave (Score:5, Funny)

    by cant_get_a_good_nick ( 172131 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:06PM (#12876875)
    I always wondered how nobody knew about him being batman, where he's got all this high tech stuff that sometimes gets blown up (the batmobile in Batman and robin). Do they kill the contractors after they're done? There's gotta be one guy who gets drunk in a bar and says "you think you're job is cool, i just fixed the anti-lock brakes on the batmoboile at wayne manor"

  • Irritating website (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Fallingcow ( 213461 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:08PM (#12876884) Homepage
    They made the content a pop-up that auto advances to the next page after a set amount of time.

    Dumbest. Thing. Ever.
  • Because in the real world rich people want to seriously risk their lives... why??

    This would be much more dangerous than flying into space or something. If you honestly look at things humans are really fragile. All it would take it pissing off the right people, they create a setup to entrap you and sorry no miracle escape for you.

    It would be so easy for someone to take you out, "super" equipment or not (the Forbes equipment list is lame anyway). For instance, there are many sniper rounds that will go st

  • An alternative (Score:2, Offtopic)

    by funny-jack ( 741994 )
    Sure, you could use riches to become a crime-fighting super hero. Alternatively, you could use your fabulous wealth to spend your entire adult life living as a 2-year-old girl [phoenixnewtimes.com].

    I wish I were making this up.

    -Skor [blogspot.com]

  • Newton's laws don't apply (Score:3, Insightful)

    by HermanAB ( 661181 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:10PM (#12876906)
    in comics, but they do in real life. That is the real secret of Batman's success.

    If your average doughnut fattened geek would try it, he would be in for a rude awakening and would come down to earth rather quickly at 9.8m/s/s...

  • Wayne Enterprises; hmm there COULD be a connection (Score:5, Funny)

    by wernst ( 536414 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:10PM (#12876908) Homepage
    ALL this guy's stuff is from the Whatever-Whatever division of Wayne Enterprises. You'd think this "Batman" fellow owned the freaking company or something... ;-)

  • Legal costs will kill him (Score:4, Funny)

    by kmahan ( 80459 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:11PM (#12876920)
    Let's not forget the legal costs here. He'll need a fulltime team of lawyers.

    - copyright/trademark infringement (obvious) - *BIFF* *BAM* *POW* must all have TM after 'em
    - defense attorneys to get him out of jail/represent him for all of his speeding tickets
    - civil attorneys to handle all the lawsuits from the criminals he "wrongly assaulted"
    - insert obvious comments about riaa/mpaa/gitmo
  • Says it all, really.
  • BAH, Hulk wonder why this is "Stuff that matters" ... definately "News for Nerds"
    Hulk suggest maybe Puny Human submitter utherdoul trying being UnderDog
    Hulk say lotta work/money to be Puny Human Batman
    Hulk a lot stronger than Batman anyway

    Hulk go back to SMASHING and Blogging [blogspot.com]
  • Batman was more of a vigilante than a super-Hero . He just gets thrown in with all the other Super-Heros.
    to make a rough short list.

    Superman ..Super strength , flight , x-ray vision , Heat vision , near indestructible , bit of a mummies boy
    Spiderman , Walk on walls , super athletic abilities , irritating teeny bopper
    Wolverine, Regeneration , adamantium skeleton , Cool claws , Hard ass cool guy( rare in being a bad ass super hero with actual super powers)
    Captain America., um he had a shield he could throw
  • Doesn't Batman sleep standing up?

    If I'm correct, that isn't something considered generally feasible for regular people.

    Not to mention some of his grappling hook stunts...

  • Real Life Superhero (Score:5, Interesting)

    by bartle ( 447377 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:17PM (#12876981) Homepage
    Anyone who's interested in whether it would actually be possible to become a superhero would probably enjoy this episode [thislife.org] of This American Life.

    The second act discusses the life of a woman who named herself Zora and decided to, from an early age, learn all the skills needed to become a comic book style superhero. She achieves her goals but then learns that there are very few job opportunities that require all the skills that she now possesses. It's well worth listening to.

  • Armor ? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by ultranova ( 717540 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:20PM (#12877002)

    The real Batman doesn't have, want or need armor. The real Batman (the one in the comic book) uses the arcane fighting techniques known as "dodging" and "hiding" and a psychological trick called "FUD" to protect himself.

    The idea behind "hiding" is simple. It is based on never letting your foe to know that you're there, therefore not giving them a chance to strike back. It helps a lot to wear black and operate at night when it's dark - just like the Batman does.

    The idea behind "dodging" is somewhat more complex, but not tremendously so. It is based on never occupying the same point in time-space as anything that might harm you. In practice, you observe your opponent, and when you see him aiming at you with a gun, you move away from the line of fire. Obviously, this becomes exponentially more difficult the more people you fight at once, so it is recommended that you use "hiding" to find lone targets.

    The last tactic, "FUD", stands for "Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt". It's idea is to strike fear to the hearts of your opponents, so that they stop thinking clearly and start making stupid mistakes (such as spreading out, buying Windows, or paying SCO for Linux licenses).

    Ironically enough, there was a pretender Batman in the comic books once - a guy the real Batman had appointed to stand in for him while he healed from wounds given to him by Bane. That pretender Batman wore armor, and went mad, and got soundly beaten by the real Batman.

    The point of all this is that this particular article makes me less, not more, likely to see "Batman Begins". Dear advertiser, please make sure you understand what you are advertising before you design your advertisement. Batman is not Terminator or Robocop, he's closer to a ninja.

    But then again, if they cast Batman as a martial arts expert, they'd need an actor who actually knows martial arts to make it look believable. Just compare Darth Maul to Count Dooku - which one has better fight scenes ?

    Maybe whatever school actors go to should include martial arts lessons in its curriculum ? They might become handy even outside the movies, once the actor becomes famous and starts attracting mentally unbalanced fans.

  • Their costing is just as fictional (Score:3, Funny)

    by syousef ( 465911 ) on Tuesday June 21, 2005 @07:30PM (#12877066) Journal
    The Training: $30,000
    The Suit: $1,585
    The Belt: $290
    The Car: $2,000,000
    The Cave: $24,000
    The Alter Ego: $1,109,574
    The Butler: $200,000

    I'd love to see some rich twit spend under 32k on martial arts training, a belt, and a poor excuse for an armoured suit, then spend over 3 mill on jewelry, a car and a butler. Better yet I'd like to see the first time they take on a drug dealer and get shot in the head. This is obviously a fluff piece but what's the bet some idiot takes it seriously.

    Someone's been smoking a bit too much weed and Forbes.com paid them for their rantings.

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