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Twinkies: The Breakfast of Champion Programmers Still Hard To Get 223

An anonymous reader writes "When Hostess, baker of Twinkies, filed for bankruptcy and ceased operations in November, Twinkies were no more. Then, a private equity firm bought the business for $410 million and planned to resume production in 'The Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever.' Now, an article in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette reports that they're still hard to get, since an unprecedented demand has caused orders to exceed production capacity 'by a significant amount.'"
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Twinkies: The Breakfast of Champion Programmers Still Hard To Get

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    • Pronounced "*nom*"
    • by dstyle5 ( 702493 )
      In all my years of University and working at tech companies after I have yet to see anyone eat a Twinkie. Can't say I've ever heard of them being called the "Breakfast of Programmers" before, but I guess they had to shoehorn a way to put it on /. Even the overlords at DICE gotta eat I guess.
  • by Anonymous Coward


  • Keep your Twinkies. Zingers are the superior creme-filled cake. Because of the icing! Mmm, vanilla-flavored, artificially-colored sugar topping!
    • by mcgrew ( 92797 ) *

      I was about to turn in my nerd card, but I see I'm not the only one. I never did like twinkies, not even as a kid. Too sweet and too little substance. And no chocolate!

      Ding Dongs, now, I like those. But I prefer bear claws and Danishes and all the traditional baked sweets (mmm... devil's food cake!) to any of the Hostess stuff.

      Come to think of it, there's little corporate food or snacks I really like. I only buy potato chips because I'm too lazy to make my own.

    • Zingers suck! They sucked when Dolly Madison made 'em and they suck coming from Little Debbie. The red coconut mystery flavor ones were the worse, but the chocolate ones were inedible too. What you call "icing" is a some kind of cocoa based plastic compound. As a kid, I would literally peel it off and drop it in the can. It always came off in one piece. Fresh from the store,they were always stale and dry. That's why Zingers were always cheaper than anything with a Hostess name on it.

      When I was a k
  • by sl4shd0rk ( 755837 ) on Monday August 12, 2013 @10:06AM (#44541223)

    I've seen a lot of developers eat breakfast over the decades and don't recall ever seeing anyone stuffing their face with a Twinkie. Tankards of coffee would be a far more accurate observation.

    • by CastrTroy ( 595695 ) on Monday August 12, 2013 @10:30AM (#44541475) Homepage
      I really don't get where this stereotype of developers/geeks being unhealthy comes from. Of all the people I know, geeks seem to be more likely to engage in regular exercise. And most of them eat pretty well. Sure there's a few outliers, but for the most part, I find that developers are actually in pretty good shape compared to the average person.
    • by asylumx ( 881307 )
      All I usually see are Monsters or Rockstars, coupled with boxes of candy. Come to think of it, that is lunch & dinner, too.
  • Are Twinkie addicts really that committed to "authentic" Twinkies? Plenty of companies make knock-offs, which, in my limited experience, are not significantly different from the real McCoy.
  • awful (Score:4, Insightful)

    by PopeRatzo ( 965947 ) on Monday August 12, 2013 @10:37AM (#44541555) Journal

    You know what else is hard to get? Heroin.

    "Champion programmers" don't eat Twinkies. Fat programmers eat Twinkies.

    Don't fuck up your body, please. You only get one and it's already out of warranty.

    • That's what you get when going for the lowest bidder.

      No, really. Evolution is by definition the lowest bidder. Think about it.

    • "Champion programmers" don't eat Twinkies. Fat programmers eat Twinkies.

      In my entire life, I've never seen a programmer eat a Twinkie. Even the fat ones. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it sure doesn't happen around here.

  • by Psion ( 2244 ) on Monday August 12, 2013 @10:42AM (#44541615)
    I noticed Twinkies back on the shelf a couple weeks ago. I ran up to the stack, hefted a box lovingly and said, "I knew you couldn't resist me for long!" A stockboy standing nearby laughed, but what does a mere lad know of true love?

    Now I know, however, a shadow has fallen upon this romance. In Twinkies' absence, I tried Tastykake's Dreamies. Her smooth, flavorful cream enrobed in fresh, rich-tasting sponge cake was more than simple comfort when Twinkies left. Dreamies shared sensations with me that were unfulfilled fantasies when Twinkies were my sole companion. Every night after dinner with Dreamies was an exquisite exploration of forbidden flavor. Sometimes, I even had two!

    When Twinkies came back, my heart and stomach pounded; lovers reunited! We left the grocery store and I buckled my box safely into the passenger seat and started the engine. At the first traffic light, I reached over and deftly parted her cardboard folds and reached for the treasures within. Cellophane yielded willingly at the next red light and soon familiar flavors and textures burst in my mouth!

    Something was wrong.

    My tastebuds now expected the fresher, richer flavors of Dreamies. Twinkies had a familiar, hydrogenized aftertaste, but Dreamies didn't. I don't think my companion noticed at the time, but when we got home, I put her on the shelf and have only reached for her twice since then. I've even ... shared her with my wife and little boy. "Yes, please! Help yourselves!"

    There's no way Twinkies doesn't know now. Something has changed between us. I think I hear sobbing in the kitchen when she doesn't know I'm near. I feel bad, but I know she feels worse because she was the one who left. I want to make it work, but Twinkies just can't bring me the sensations for which I yearn. I've ... moved on.
    • Tonight, on "Cheaters"...

    • by asylumx ( 881307 )
      Similar story here, though I won't put it as eloquently. I bought a box of Twinkies just because I hadn't had them in a while and I wanted to 'remember' what the big deal was. Got them home, had one... ya, they taste more like plastic than they do like a confectionary treat. My wife had one yesterday around lunch time, and all afternoon she was complaining about the aftertaste and if she burped it was awful for both of us. Moral of the story: I don't know if Twinkies were always this bad, or if there's
  • I guess I've long since ignored the polls on slashdot's front page, but I'd like to see the a poll like this.
    What's your average time interval between twinkie consumption?
    * 1 day
    * 1 week
    * 1 year
    * 5 years
    * 10 years
    * closer to infinity

    • I had one. My stomach returned it with as much as an "Ey, you nuts or something? What the fuck do you think you're throwing down here?"

      I think the next I'll have will be somewhere "closer to infinity".

  • by nimbius ( 983462 ) on Monday August 12, 2013 @11:11AM (#44541883) Homepage
    seriously, as i look around the office and recall from offices past, ours is a field rife with obesity, diabetes, stroke, heart disese and various other maladies caused by eating nothing but twinkies washed down with sugary soda. we can all recount a person in our office who was so fat they required special seating thanks to the nerd diet. We all know who the guy with the smell is in the office and chances are hes obese. Someone so overweight that to reach the parking lot to the door was to them a 5k to anyone else. If we we're to consider Diet and Exercise programming languages, then our laughable grasp of them would send us all scrambling to the O'Reilly store so fast youd think it was black friday.

    Put down the fucking twinkies. let them go, slow down on the soda (I can attest, its hard to quit) and try meatless monday. consider the wellness program at your office this year. If you dont have one, push for it, because as long as we continue to hold this dreck upon high as some golden calf from which its ambrose we spin our code, then we can all look forward to bigger chairs higher insurance premiums and shorter lives.

    and to the offices that have snack bars, please stop. I mean just stop. if you have to offer a snack as a perk, look at getting something healthier than packets of crisps and candy bars because while the HR team might not eat the junk food, the HR team takes a real lunch. nerds at their desks routinely plow through breakfast and lunch without so much as a thought and when offered, will eat anything freely given. We miss meals so you dont miss deadlines. stop poisoning us.
    • You ... you want to take away my snacks?

      Here's my two weeks notice, the last reason to work here is gone!

      • by tlhIngan ( 30335 )

        You ... you want to take away my snacks?

        Here's my two weeks notice, the last reason to work here is gone!

        They could offer healthier snacks - fruits and vegetables, for instance, rather than oversalted and oversugared treats.

        They could offer healthier drinks as well.

        Of course, the real reason they don't is that salty and sugary treats and soda are much cheaper, last forever, and everyone gets addicted to them because those treats were engineered to be liked by our lizard-brains.

  • How the heck can a company that makes products where demand outstrips supply by "some margin" go bankrupt? Isn't that kinda anathema for capitalism?

    • by schnell ( 163007 )

      How the heck can a company that makes products where demand outstrips supply by "some margin" go bankrupt?

      1. This is the new, post-bankruptcy company.
      2. It's pretty easy, actually. Just charge less for your product than it costs you to make, market and deliver it (including your pension, healthcare and other overhead costs), and demand will actually make you go bankrupt faster. That's kinda what happened to the last company.
      • It's pretty easy, actually. Just charge less for your product than it costs you to make, market and deliver it (including your pension, healthcare and other overhead costs), and demand will actually make you go bankrupt faster.

        Milo Minderbinder would like a word with you concerning his prior art in this IP area.

  • As John Belushi showed us, the true breakfast of champions is little chocolate donuts.

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/2345 [hulu.com]

Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.