Who Americans Spend Their Time With (theatlas.com) 115
Data scientist Henrik Lindberg has a series of fascinating charts based on data from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics that show who people in the United States spend their time with over the course of their lifetime. Check out the charts here. From a report on Quartz: Some of the relationships Lindberg found are intuitive. Time with friends drops off abruptly in the mid-30s, just as time spent with children peaks. Around the age of 60 -- nearing and then entering retirement, for many -- people stop hanging out with co-workers as much, and start spending more time with partners. Others are more surprising. Hours spent in the company of children, friends, and extended family members all plateau by our mid-50s. And from the age of 40 until death, we spend an ever-increasing amount of time alone. Those findings are consistent with research showing that the number of friends we have peaks around age 25, and plateaus between the ages of 45 and 55. Simply having fewer social connections doesn't necessarily equal loneliness. The Stanford University psychologist Linda Carstensen has found that emotional regulation improves with age, so that people derive more satisfaction from the relationships they have, whatever the number. Older people also report less stress and more happiness than younger people.
Friends Peaking (Score:4, Insightful)
I am reminded of the saying: He who has many friends has none.
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I don't get that.
I've had lots of friends over the years, and STILL have a group of at least 11-12 close ones I'm in touch with if not daily, then weekly at least.
Many of these friends are long term, the least of which is about near the 30 year mark......
I"d trust all of them with keys to my house, in fact, the ones that live very close to me all have keys to my house.
Of note....I don't do social media...and have no problem keeping in touch.
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11-12 friends isn't unusual. 11-12 CLOSE friends is. How do you find time to spend time with that many people multiple times a week?
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Well, the ones that live locally, we hang at each others houses....do lunch/dinners out....hit the gun ranges together...any number of activities.
The ones that don't live locally...well, we phone/text almost daily, sending pics...and for one group of them that lives in a different state than me, we plan get togethers and either I fly up there, or they fly here.
I live in New
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I don't care how good the pussy is, it ain't worth ditching friends I"ve known for a large part of my life, and trust with my life.
Most of my close friendships prior to marriage were with women/girls. From about High School onwards, I've just preferred the company of women, even ones I wasn't interested in bonking. All those friendships sort of dried up after marriage. Some immediately, some just over time. Not the wife's fault, she understood it was platonic friendships (her sister was my best friend when I first met my future wife- her sister semi-set us up). My female friends, I guess, all felt uncomfortable hanging around a ma
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In many ways..that makes the stronger and better...
Re:Friends Peaking (Score:5, Insightful)
from the age of 40 until death, we spend an ever-increasing amount of time alone
Because you finally figured out that most people are assholes and you're better off alone.
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More likely because people in your circle start gradually dying off.
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More likely because people in your circle start gradually dying off.
In their 40s? Do you live in a third world country or something, the stats from Norway:
At age 1, 0.2% are dead.
At age 32, 1% are dead.
At age 45, 2% are dead.
At age 58, 5% are dead.
At age 67, 10% are dead.
At age 75, 20% are dead.
At age 85, 50% are dead.
At age 95, 90% are dead.
At age 105, 99.9% are dead.
Of course for the individual those statistics don't mean much since people don't have many close friends and there might be significant co-morbidity in accidents, lifestyle choices and such but for the populat
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If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.
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What about those who have none? :P
Interesting, but not surprising (Score:3)
Intereresting data, but not in any way surprising.
Re:Cow orkers (Score:4, Informative)
This is why I don't really want to hang-out with coworkers after the workday is over. I spend eight hours a day with you, and despite this industry attracting a lot of geeks we don't really have a whole lot in-common. Why would I want to spend even more time with you when I could spend it with people that share common interests?
I do the occasional happy-hour, but there's a surprising number of rabid sports fans in the office despite most of them never having played a sport since young childhood, and I don't like hanging-out with people that refer to their favorite out-of-state sports team as, "we," when discussing their trumphs and tribulations.
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I've never really ever made friends with co-workers that went outside the office in my professional life.
The only times I was close with co-workers, was during my HS-> Grad school years, when I worked in retail and restaurant business....ESPECIALLY the restaurant business.
Perhaps a lot of that came from the way you are scheduled as a waiter or bartender...same weird hours, and the fact we were young enough to be inte
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The competition-aspect is very true, and the problems when relationship turn sour, romantic or even simply platonic, is true also.
My only workplace romance was with a woman that did not work out of the same facility as I do; I was doing a lot of field work at the time so I got to visit everywhere. That made it a lot less problematic when the relationship ended because I never visited any single site frequently to begin with, and even if I did go to her site, odds were even that I wouldn't run into her anyw
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I've found several things work against being friends with your co-workers outside of work compared to school.
In college, you have a bunch of (semi-)free time in between and after classes, most everyone is about the same age, hardly anyone is married or has kids, and most everyone lives within a mile or two of campus (and thus pretty close to each other).
In the real world, you work 8 (or 10 or 12) hours with a one-hour commute before and after work, the ages range from 22 to 65, nearly everyone is married an
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Yeah I'm pretty much the same.
I'm not particularly extroverted but generally easy to get along with so I have some coworker "friends", as in people I could bullshit around at lunch of briefly after work. We'd do an occasional happy-hour or see a movie, but then they quit and I never speak with them, so yeah.
This is starting to become a bit of a problem now at the start of my 30s though as many of my real friends moved or got into relationships and suddenly have no time to hang out. Like not even daily or we
Re:Cow orkers (Score:4, Informative)
You might want to try to go over to those real-friends' homes to hang out. When you're married and especially if you have children you might not have a lot of time to spend out-and-about. You may be limited to having a beer or two with friends over an hour or two while you shoot the shit out in the garage before you have to go back in and be responsible again.
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Just wait until you're 40!
My close friends all got married and had kids in their mid-30's. One was in my Judo club and his wife actually told me she understands that guy's need their time together and she won't keep him from getting together with his friends, etc. He hasn't been back to Judo in almost two years and guess how many times we've hung out since the wedding that weren't family events?
I suppose being an extreme introvert has something to do with it, but I'm able to fill my "free" time with man
Introversion (Score:2)
Agreed (Score:3, Funny)
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If everyone thinks someone is an asshole, they probably are. If you think other people are assholes, you probably are,
missing... (Score:1)
missing "time with cat" chart.
Depends on what you call 'friends' (Score:5, Insightful)
Until your 20s or so, 'friends' are usually the least objectionable acquaintances from school. Now, that's potentially a large pool of people so you can get lucky and find real friends in that group.
For a brief period in your 20s, you may form some friendships with coworkers or somebody you meet socially. Usually a limited pool of people, and that's the pool you're choosing a spouse from.
In your 30s (if you have kids), your friends are the parents of your kids' friends.
It often isn't until retirement that you're actually free to form relationships with someone based on common interests instead of common circumstances. And guess what? They're all old and moderately set in their ways so the odds of a friendship forming are lower. And they're going to die at a higher rate than in your youth, so there's that, too.
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I found a social group irrespective of school when I was in my mid-teens. Once I graduated high school I didn't really see anyone from school anymore beyond the odd random encounter in a public place. Kind of the same for college friends; since I didn't live on-campus most of those acquaintances were made through class where we were thrown-together without much in the way of input, so those friendships didn't really last too long either.
Friends that I've made based on common interests have generally laste
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Some people put in special effort as they get older not to get set in their ways, and for some getting to post-kids is a time to branch out a bit and do more adventuring. On the flip side, you're a bit less capable physically, but there's still a wide range of learning, new experiences, etc, available.
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I do wonder what part of the increasing time alone graph is due to old friends, partners, etc. dying off and not being replaced.
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American Public Education (Score:2)
He got "a" right. So we'll award him a passing mark and let him move up to the next grade.
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Typical American report card:
15/15 Participation :-)
20/20 Attendance
20/25 Positive Attitude
10/10 Recess & Lunch
5/10 "You're" - partial credit for finding a homophone
10/10 "a" - good job!
5/10 "douche" - great effort!
85/100 'B' grade - your child's "honor roll" bumper sticker is enclosed with this report card.
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But you were ok with "your"? Oh for crying out loud... .if you are going to criticize somebody's spelling, at least apply it consistently across the three words that were posted! (Also, criticize the lack of capitalization and punctuation.)
He spelled the word "your" correctly. He just used the wrong word. Just saying...;)
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It often isn't until retirement that you're actually free to form relationships with someone based on common interests instead of common circumstances. And guess what? They're all old and moderately set in their ways so the odds of a friendship forming are lower. And they're going to die at a higher rate than in your youth, so there's that, too.
Not only that, but I think the vast majority of people struggle to connect with others. It's not just a nerd thing.
When you are working or going to school, you are forced to interact with others. Relationships require skill to acquire and sustain. Most people don't have those skills, or are unwilling to work at them, without social pressure. Upon retirement, that social pressure is eliminated and people struggle.
Slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder how reading/posting on Slashdot is categorized.
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Hello "friends"!
Hello my closest, most dearest friend.
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Oh, my name it is Sam Hall ...
I wonder how old HE was?
I know who I spend my time with... (Score:5, Funny)
All the people that are wrong on the internet. DUTY CALLS! [xkcd.com]
Whom Americans Spend Their Time With (Score:1)
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My Best Friend Died... (Score:4, Funny)
My best friend died last night, so I had to reload a saved game from earlier in the day.
My Best Friend Died...Mr Handy. (Score:1)
Mine did as well, so now I have to use my left hand.
Advantage if you're anti-social (Score:2)
That social fellah that thrives on human contact is statistically likely to sink into depression being alone in old age...
BUT if you're anti-ocial then THIS IS IT! - that time you have been waiting for all your life, to be left the fuck alone.
I look forward to the next study when such people speak of feeling liberated from the inane drudgery of mundane every day interactions with people.
Younger people have less time? (Score:2)
Is there a miscellaneous or something? What am I missing? 15-year-olds have 10.52 total hours and 39-year-olds have 16.19 total hours.
Of course (Score:4, Insightful)
We spend our school days trying to figure out where we are in the social structure of our world.
That effort, once we hit puberty, turns into the search for a suitable mate.
By 25 - according to the /general/ development of humans, not the last 70 years of extended fertility and 'modern' prioritization of career over family - you should typically be done seeking a mate, and into child raising.
Once you're done raising children, you're more or less reproductively superfluous and should die off all else being equal.
Plus, around your mid 20s-early 30s you start realizing that so very many of your so-called friends are really assholes you put up with, and choose to no longer do so.
By your mid-40s you're starting to suspect that MOST people are really assholes, and ultimately there are just a few people (optimally, your spouse) that you really enjoy spending time with, if anyone.
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The description sounds much too nice to be my ex.
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"Plus, around your mid 20s-early 30s you start realizing that so very many of your so-called friends are really assholes you put up with, and choose to no longer do so. By your mid-40s you're starting to suspect that MOST people are really assholes, and ultimately there are just a few people (optimally, your spouse) that you really enjoy spending time with, if anyone."
Would upvote for truth if I could, but instead I'll point out the mechanisms that I think underlie it. I banged this out quick, so it's a bi
Re: Of course (Score:2)
I was a hardcore, staunch Republican in high school and college (90s/early 00s). As in, I sincerely believed Democrats were all closet communists who wanted to destroy America. In my early 30s (Bush #2), I started to have misgivings... Clinton ended up being -- at worst -- "mostly harmless", and Bush (#2) and the Republicans in Congress just couldn't seem to do anything right. In 2008, I was horrified by the prospect of Obama winning, but less than a year later, the Republicans in the House & Senate man
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Now, I'm just disgusted with both parties
I believe the phrase for which you're searching is "two cheeks of the same ass."
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The move to the right is a little askew. Civil rights for minorities have made great strides since I was young, while income inequality and exploitation are way up. War has become less acceptable. We're a different society now, arguing about different things.
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Last time I read a Libertarian platform it combined some ideas I like with some that would be horribly unworkable in practice (regulating pollution with private lawsuits, for example). I'm not going to support a political party that has no clue about what it would do if in power.
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That whole get married in your 20's thing never made much sense to me. At that age you're just out of school and probably have a little bit of money to spend on yourself. Why the heck would you want to tie yourself down with a wife and, horrors, children? Don't you want some time to create a life for yourself before you lose the option?
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Actually, I did caveat that: /general/ development of humans, not the last 70 years of extended fertility and 'modern' prioritization of career over family..."
"...according to the
Pre modern medicine (actually, frightfully recently in my view) the death rate for women in childbirth was atrocious generally.
(http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science_of_longevity/2013/09/death_in_childbirth_doctors_increased_maternal_mortality_in_the_20th_century.html - note 'medical professionals' actually made
Re:Of course, nonsense (Score:2)
While I believe people are growing and changing, evolving (some are not) throughout their lives, I think the 20s are most critical, and people in their 20s should not raise a child.
What does a 25yr old have to offer to a child in terms of guidance and wisdom when the same 25yr old is just beginning his adult life and most are totally clueless about life. Even the older ones often are, but that's a different matter.
Similarly, most people are not assholes, but they think other people are, so they become assho
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There's not much guidance and wisdom that can be imparted to a baby. And hopefully as the children grow up, the parents grow in wisdom and maturity as well. If you wait until you're in your 40s to have kids, A) it could be much harder to conceive and B) you'll be in your 60s or 70s when they're teenagers. Maybe that would be fine but it sounds tiring to me. I think mid 20s to mid 30s is the perfect time to start having kids.
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The simple fact for most of the history of humanity is that having a baby in your early 20s meant the highest chance that the mother actually gets to LIVE through the experience.
In most people's calculus, that's slightly more important than being able to 'give them better guidance' because you waited longer to have them.
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Actually, most people end up fairly happy as they age. Unless they disconnect from family and friends they started with, by moving far away.
Did they measure it right? (Score:2)
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Those kids are pigeons. Your eyesight is deteriorating.
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Does yelling "get off my grass" counts as interaction and the kids count as acquaintances?
Nowadays, I have to yell at the neighborhood kids to "get off of my WLAN".
Assuming this was face to face? (Score:2)
I overhear my son gaming with his friends and he is yelling in headset at the screen. Sometime it reminds me of my grandfather yelling at the TV when I was a kid.
Prescriptive grammarians have fewer friends. (Score:1)
The qz web page title says:
You have less friends as you get older, and you spend more time alone, according to the data — Quartz"
"less friends"? sigh.
Hah! The captcha was "contempt"
Not all sweetness and light, however (Score:1)
While this study may appear to show friendships grow back after retirement, they don't always.
There are well know problems with people with extensive work and research and travel related relationships having trouble adjusting in retirement, as they have to replace the extensive non-family or work-related relationships with other ones. Especially prominent among men.
Shows up during job change too.
Confirming the obvious? (Score:2)
I guess it's nice to have that formalized, but it ain't a big shock.
Control for Hobbies (Score:2)
I'm 37, and the biggest thing, in terms of time, that I've found myself amassing is hobbies. My sportscar paid-off and therefore pretty close to free to enjoy at pennies per minute. The kayak costs virtually nothing. The theremin, kalimba, and hammock chairs are completely zero cost. Video games, reading, and even tvision are basically pennies per hour. Even home DIY amounts to very little cost per-day. Cooking and gardening and the theatre are cheap too. I already lack the time to master any one of
Yep. (Score:2)
I noticed a lot of old friends got busy with their own families, work/job, etc. It sucks, and I miss them. I hate being old! :(
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