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Businesses The Almighty Buck

Ice Tea Company Rebrands as 'Long Blockchain' and Stock Price Triples (arstechnica.com) 144

Posted by msmash from the not-the-onion dept.
The Long Island Ice Tea Corporation is exactly what it sounds like: a company that sells people bottled iced tea and lemonade. But today the company announced a significant change of strategy that would start with changing its name to "Long Blockchain Corporation." From a report: The company was "shifting its primary corporate focus towards the exploration of and investment in opportunities that leverage the benefits of blockchain technology," the company said in a Thursday morning press release. "Emerging blockchain technologies are creating a fundamental paradigm shift across the global marketplace," the company said. The stock market loved the announcement. Trading opened Thursday morning more than 200 percent higher than Wednesday night's closing price. The company isn't getting out of the iced tea business. "The Company will continue to operate Long Island Brand Beverages, LLC as a wholly-owned subsidiary," the company writes in its press release. The new blockchain efforts are only in their "preliminary stages," the press release says, and will likely involve investing or forming partnerships with other companies. One potential partner is providing "blockchain infrastructure for the financial services industry." Another is building a "new smart contract platform for building decentralized applications."
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Ice Tea Company Rebrands as 'Long Blockchain' and Stock Price Triples More

Ice Tea Company Rebrands as 'Long Blockchain' and Stock Price Triples

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  • Fools and Money. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Zorro ( 15797 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:27PM (#55784947)

    Soon to be separated.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      It makes sense, really. Anyone that is willing to invest money in crypto is probably willing to throw it away on this stock too.

      • Sort of. The underlying premise behind blockchain is a good idea, but Bitcoin will never work for its intended purpose, and so it will probably crash really hard. In fact this may even trigger the next recession just like the dot-com bubble did. Probably won't happen for a year or two, but it will happen.

        We can call this the bitcoin bubble, even though many other popular ones (ethereum, bch) have the same problems. But like the dot-com bubble before it, the premise isn't bad, it's just people are creating t

        • and a rise in currencies that aren't dependent upon miners and have low/no transaction fees.

          You mean like all the current, existing currencies?

          • Re: (Score:2)

            by rtb61 ( 674572 )

            Cash, dollars, hmm, carry it in your pocket, spend it anonymously, wow what a novel concept. You don't need a computer, you don't need the internet, spend it any time, any where, all without permission, you don't have to ask permission from any one to buy anything when you pay with cash. No one can electronically hack into you wallet and steal it or even just delete it. Here is a scam for crypto currency types, don't try to steal them, just delete them, mwa hah hah, there less there are, the more yours are

          • You mean like all the current, existing currencies?

            Try having instant digital transactions with existing currencies. Either you pay a lot (upwards of 3% in the case of credit cards,) or the transaction happens slowly.

            • For international inter-currency transactions this is true. For transactions within currencies, I can do that to your bank account using my phone, zero fees, and it happens straight away. I think in the US the banks appear to have everyone over a barrel, which may well explain the interest in bitcoin (maybe).

        • A lot of people may know that but are still willing to take the risk.

          As you say, the crash may not be for another year or two. I'm still not sure I want to put a dime into Bitcoin (certainly none that I can't afford to lose), but even knowing that it's almost certainly going to crash, if you time it right you can still do well. If you buy now and sell in 6 months at 50% profit it doesn't matter if it crashes in a year to almost nothing.

          At this point I think it's probably a better strategy though to watch

        • In fact this may even trigger the next recession just like the dot-com bubble did. Probably won't happen for a year or two, but it will happen.

          So you're saying that I should get in now?

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Their tea is now fully buzzword synergized and cloud-compliant.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Oswald McWeany ( 2428506 )

      Soon to be separated.

      It's all a gamble at this point. They're fools if they think a company will continue to grow just because they have blockchain in their name. They're not fools if they think other fools will think that and get in early to take the money from the fools.

      If they're investing to feed off the other fools, they're gamblers, not necessarily fools.

    • Re:Fools and Money. (Score:5, Funny)

      by Bruce Perens ( 3872 ) <bruce@perens.com> on Thursday December 21, 2017 @05:08PM (#55785643) Homepage Journal

      Because of this obvious opportunity, for the next several months I will be referred to as "Bruce Blockchain Blockchain Blockchain Millionare Billionare Perens"

      • I was going for Blockchain McBlockface

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by kriston ( 7886 )

        It kind of reminds me of the later years of Zapata Oil company.

      • Because of this obvious opportunity, for the next several months I will be referred to as "Bruce Blockchain Blockchain Blockchain Millionare Billionare Perens"

        Just stick to "Bruce Blockchain" it sounds sort of super-heroey.

  • New investment opportunity (Score:5, Funny)

    by nwaack ( 3482871 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:28PM (#55784955)
    Hi all, I'm starting a new company called Super-awesome-blockchain-bitcoin-make-you-money-LLC. I'm still in the "preliminary stages" of setting up said company but it's gonna be awesome. You can send all your money to me at my P.O. Box. ~SMH

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by Mr307 ( 49185 )

      Dont be a fool my new Super-duper-awesome-blockchain-bitcoin-make-you-money-LLC, is clearly better because look the name is longer and we'll promise you more awesomeness. Send all money now, dont fall behind the extra duper awesomeness or you will lose out.

       

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by nnet ( 20306 )
        sorry I couldn't find either of your companies on NYSE. no soup for you.

        • sorry I couldn't find either of your companies on NYSE. no soup for you.

          That is because they are in stealth mode!

    • Re:New investment opportunity (Score:4, Funny)

      by Jose ( 15075 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:41PM (#55785047) Homepage

      I'm at the post office, and they are saying that they need a zip code for PO Box ~SMH.

      please provide the *full* address so we can make the monies!

    • i'll one-up you. i've legally changed my name to "blockchain supermcawesome". i'm getting job offers left and right via linkedin.

    • Same old story (Score:4, Interesting)

      by istartedi ( 132515 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @06:14PM (#55786043) Journal

      A company for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is [colorado.edu]. and the result of this announcement, described in this paragraph:

      [the prospectus stated] that the required capital was half a million, in five thousand shares of 100 pounds each, deposit 2 pounds per share. Each subscriber, paying his [or her] desposit, was entitled to 100 pounds per annum per share. How this immense profit was to be obtained, [the proposer] did not condescend to inform [the buyers] at that time, but promised that in a month full particulars should be duly announced, and a call made for the remaining 98 pounds of the subscription. Next morning, at nine o'clock, this great man opened an office in Cornhill. Crowds of people beset his door, and when he shut up at three o'cock, he found that no less than one thousand shares had been subscribed for, and the deposits paid. He was thus, in five hours, the winner of 2000 pounds. He was philosophical enough to be contented with his venture, and set off the same evening for the Continent. He was never heard of again. (Mackay 55-56)

  • Artificial Intelligence Poetry (Score:5, Funny)

    by PopeRatzo ( 965947 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:32PM (#55784991) Journal

    "Emerging blockchain technologies are creating a fundamental paradigm shift across the global marketplace,"

    The jargon is strong with this one.

  • Blockchain will revolutionize Ice Tea (Score:5, Funny)

    by JoeyRox ( 2711699 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:39PM (#55785023)
    A QR code on the container will tell you the source of every tea bag used to create your drink, and also tell you who was tea bagged buying the company's stock.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by hey! ( 33014 )

      And what's more nobody will be able to edit that information, only add to it.

  • Quoting Greenspan (Score:1, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward

    " But how do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values, which then become subject to unexpected and prolonged contractions as they have in Japan over the past decade?" Waiit, this was about bitco^hblockchain, so no need to fear prolonged contractions caused by inappropriate government-private sector collusion, corruption or politically and ideologically motivated economic policies run through the central banks.

    • Quoting Mencken (Score:5, Insightful)

      by hey! ( 33014 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:56PM (#55785173) Homepage Journal

      "No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby"

      • Or as it says in Proverbs (King James version): "There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up." Suckers have been around for millenia.

  • Ah, the "Serial Entepreneur"... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by ErichTheRed ( 39327 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:52PM (#55785135)

    Anyone who's done any work for typical small-to-medium businesses owned and dominated by one person could see this coming a mile away. When I was starting out I worked for a couple of MSPs that were quite obviously pet projects for the owner. People like this will chase after anything that looks like they can squeeze a few bucks out before the bubble pops. It's just a personality trait -- they're hard-wired to chase money and will bounce from thing to thing picking up the crumbs, and seem naturally attracted to scammy business models.

    A perfect example where I live is solar panels. There are dozens of fly-by-night companies who've set up shop alongside the big boys like Harvest Power and SolarCity. Every single one is just trying to sell sell sell enough people on overpriced equipment and service until the tax credits get repealed. When that happens, oops, business goes bankrupt and they move on. Federal tax credit on solar is 30% on equipment and installation, so every single one of these companies is marking the price of systems up by at least a few percent beyond that, and are directly taking advantage of the fact that most people are too dumb to understand how their taxes are computed. They just see "OMG huge tax credit" and sign up...and people like this Long Blockchain guy get to live large another day.

    • When I first read your post I thought Kellog's was getting into the blockchain game. I can see the prospectus - a drawing of Tony the Tiger holding a cinder block and gold chain with a bright red "They're Grrreat!" emblazoned across the page.

  • Yeah, it's 1999 again (Score:5, Insightful)

    by SlaveToTheGrind ( 546262 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:52PM (#55785137)

    Just substitute "blockchain" for "dot com."

    • The difference is that if bitcoin crashes tomorrow it won't cause a worldwide recession.

      • Out of curiosity, have you considered that scenario with half the masses counting on their bitcoin portfolio to pay their rent?

        • Out of curiosity, have you considered that scenario with half the masses counting on their bitcoin portfolio to pay their rent?

          We're nowhere near that yet. In the West I'd be surprised if more than 1% of people owned any bitcoin.

        • Out of curiosity, have you considered that scenario with half the masses counting on their bitcoin portfolio to pay their rent?

          I love that you think "the masses" have a portfolio of anything, never mind bitcoin.

          "Jeeves, please pass me my morning's portfolio listing for perusal before I head off for my shift serving at McDonalds."

          • My bad, I probably misunderstood the noble goal of replacing state owned currencies with people owned cryptocurrencies as something that was actually looked forward to.

      • The difference is that if bitcoin crashes tomorrow it won't cause a worldwide recession.

        Are you sure about that?

        • The difference is that if bitcoin crashes tomorrow it won't cause a worldwide recession.

          Are you sure about that?

          According to BBC this morning, the high estimate for ownership of bitcoin is 3 million people- so at most 0.04% of the world's population own bitcoin. That's not excluding all the many people who have owned bitcoin and lost the key.

          • The difference is that if bitcoin crashes tomorrow it won't cause a worldwide recession.

            Are you sure about that?

            According to BBC this morning, the high estimate for ownership of bitcoin is 3 million people- so at most 0.04% of the world's population own bitcoin. That's not excluding all the many people who have owned bitcoin and lost the key.

            The press is reporting that people are using home equity and credit cards to buy in. When it caves it could have a ripple effect in other markets.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by leonbev ( 111395 )

        I don't know about that. I've heard stories of people maxing out their credit cards to buy more Bitcoin with the illusion/delusion that they're going to get 500% returns on their money, so it's probably going to have at least some ripple effect to the rest of the economy.

        • Honestly? not much more than the baseline of gambling addicts that do the same chasing "Getting back to even"...

          Insolvency is a way of life for a huge swath of the American public, and while I don't know the laws in other countries, I expect anyone who's double (or $DIETY help them triple) leveraged on BTC to be in a country with similar insolvency laws. Anyone who would face a lifetime debt crush if they failed to time the bubble likely is not extended that way into BTC.

        • I don't know about that. I've heard stories of people maxing out their credit cards to buy more Bitcoin with the illusion/delusion that they're going to get 500% returns on their money, so it's probably going to have at least some ripple effect to the rest of the economy.

          Those sort of people are basically gambling addicts, and would be wasting their kids' present money betting on snow at Christmas or something if bitcoin didn't exist. Although tragic individually, it wouldn't amount to much in the wider scheme of things.

    • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • Every Time (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward

    This is the third story I've seen of companies doing this. It hasn't failed to make me laugh.

    This one is the best so far.

  • Their website is comedic gold:
    "The Company is already in the preliminary stages of evaluating specific opportunities involving blockchain technology."

    Really weaving a solid story on commercial traction and commitment there...

  • Comment removed (Score:3)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @03:59PM (#55785185)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • this seems to be a legitimate news story.

    https://investors.longislandicedtea.com/ [longislandicedtea.com]
    Long Blockchain Corp. Withdraws S-1 Registration Statement
    December 21, 2017

    Farmingdale, NY (December 21, 2017) â" Long Blockchain Corp. (NasdaqCM: LTEA) (the âoeCompanyâ) today announced that it has withdrawn its previously filed S-1 registration statement relating to a proposed underwritten public offering, which was filed on November 11, 2017. Earlier this morning, the Company announced that it has approved cha

  • Not so new (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Deadstick ( 535032 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:09PM (#55785237)

    There used to be a railroad in the eastern US called the Seaboard Air Line Railroad, "air line" being a railroad term for "as the crow flies". Its stock price had a tendency to follow airline stocks.

  • No big deal, really (Score:5, Funny)

    by demon driver ( 1046738 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:12PM (#55785253) Journal

    After all, it was just a very small transition from 'beverage' to 'leverage'.

  • One potential partner is providing "blockchain infrastructure for the financial services industry."

    So... Ripple?

  • I think that hit all my buzzwords.

  • Reminds me of Snap Interactive isn't Snap Inc. (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Zontar_Thing_From_Ve ( 949321 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:23PM (#55785313)
    Recently I read that only 15% of Americans actually own stocks. It would appear that maybe some of those 15% don't really know what they are doing. Earlier this year before Snap Inc. (parent company of Snapchat and other programs) did its IPO, an unrelated company named Snap Interactive suddenly started having a lot more interest in its stock because people thought it was the parent company of Snapchat. Snap Interactive didn't even do anything to deceive anybody. People just wrong assumed they owned Snapchat. What's sad is that they could do just a small amount of research via searches on Google, Bing, etc. and determine that Snap Interactive wasn't the owner of Snapchat, but heck, it's just easier to buy stock on speculation rather than check stuff so let's do that.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by MobyDisk ( 75490 )

      Are these maybe stock-trading bots?

    • Re:Reminds me of Snap Interactive isn't Snap Inc. (Score:5, Informative)

      by DarkOx ( 621550 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:57PM (#55785591) Journal

      15% own stocks DIRECTLY. Much much larger percentages of the public have mutual fund holdings, often in IRAs or 401ks.

      That 15% number is talking point for people with a political agenda, and has little relationship with reality.

      Note I am not saying the 401K and IRA schemes are models of good public policy just that its not true only 15% of Americans 'own' stocks.

      • Here in the UK anyone with a pension or life assurance or whatever "owns stocks and shares" since the provider has to have their money invested somewhere.

        It is a meaningless statement though. I can't go to my pension company and say "can you please move GBP10,000 of my pension fund into this great new Blockchain company I've heard about."

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by DarkOx ( 621550 )

          Here in the US though to some degree you could do that. Most people get a menu of investment vehicles to choose from in 401k programs offered by employers. You can't say put 10k in Blockchain Inc, but you can say put 5% in GoldmanSucks High-tech fund. Which you can discover the makeup of, if you ask.

          Usually there will be 10 or 20 other funds to allocate to, like bond funds, municipal bond funds, real-estate holdings, domestic equity, foreign capital, than stuff by size, blue chips, growth, small cap, an

    • Its real people are that stupid. Check out sites like Investor Hub or Investor Hangout and watch the comedy show when some company make some pump statement. Perfect example is QMKR ticker. If you see this companies history it is nothing but a shell. Now watch their stock price go up a few days ago as they made an announcement about entering the Cryptocurrency Industry. Magic...

  • Link in story is broken (Score:3)

    by LordKronos ( 470910 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:27PM (#55785331)

    I clicked the link in the story intending to read the article, but somehow ended up on Ars Technica instead of The Onion. Come on, slashdot...get some actual editors already and make sure your damn links work.

  • Angel Investor Wanted! (Score:4, Informative)

    by slacktide ( 796664 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:31PM (#55785363)
    You won't want to miss getting in on the ground floor of the Dirty South House of Chicken, Waffles, and Blockchain.

  • blocked chain? use a plunger! (Score:3)

    by petes_PoV ( 912422 ) on Thursday December 21, 2017 @04:33PM (#55785387)

    Trading opened Thursday morning more than 200 percent higher

    Unfortunately all the trades were done in BTC!

  • that's what's making these silly decisions. Although part of me things this should be a canary in the coal mine for our economic system.

  • There is an army of bots scouring for anything "____coin" or "blockchain" and buying according the a predefined ruleset. They are probly set to dump it all once it begins a downward trend over a couple days.

    The robot army is already in control.

    At this point, I'm certain these guys are making out like bandits, but once that first dump trigger is hit, its gonna be a bloodbath.

    More than one way to cash in on this crazy-train.

    Disclosure: I don't gamble.

  • Back in the early '00 decade were were seriously advised by investment bankers to add a "dot com" to our name before doing our public offering. We were actually a networking products company enjoying a ride up on the dot com boom but the bankers thought in order for the stock to "take off" it had to be associated with this new thing called the web. (this was in the year 200x!)

    At the end of the day we didn't do it but they were serious.

  • It was a joke web site Larry Ellison put out during the dotcom boom. They had a new company called "heyidiot.com" who's only product was their stock, which could only go up forever.

    • It was a joke web site Larry Ellison put out during the dotcom boom. They had a new company called "heyidiot.com" who's only product was their stock, which could only go up forever.

      They later renamed that to "oracle.com".

  • ... to celebrate the burst of the Blockchain bubble.

  • Just reading the summary filled my BS bingo card!

  • I really can't tell.

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