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Quickie Fu 42

Amoeba Protozoa has the first Quickie for the day: The Linux Image Montage Project needs logos to create a montage poster. If you have a Linux related logo, send it to them. mazeone sent us a link to the always excellent NTK which has a great note about Bruce Perens at the start, (And yes, I read NTK too ;) And now a whole bunch of fun little links that have been building up: PopeClayton sent us a link to a Homer Simpson Fortune File. cpfeifer sent us a link to another O'Reily Book Parody. Zibalatz sent us a link to a MacBeth Star Wars Parody. rpm sent us a link to the Magic Nipple. It predicts the future. Sorta. Now we have a few more Porn Parody sites: desertAngel sent us Amish Porn and Gambit32 sent us telephone sex. Both are hilarious. The Only Anonymous Coward sent us a link to an emergency Security Alert: apparently a dangerous bug was found in GNU acronym. An anonymous reader sent us an important page: a Guide to Babes for Geeks. Follow these to the letter. Oh wait, most of us probably already do. That might explain my social life anyway.
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Quickie Fu

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  • Here are two classic geek guides: A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys [antioch.edu] and The Guy's Guide to Geek Girls [udel.edu].
  • It would have been better with a picture of an exotic fish on the front or something.
  • This one just occured to me... "Hamlet in a Nutshell" with the sub-title "Considering yourself king of infinite space."

    Sadly I haven't the graphics chops to pull it off. So I'm releasing this joke under GPL :)

  • FWIW, the "dangerous bug was found in GNU acronym" originally was written for segfault.org (it should still be in the archives there...search around a bit). Apparently one of the GNU people (not sure if it was RMS or one of the other GNU people) saw it and liked it and asked if he could use it on the gnu.org site, and naturally the segfault people agreed, so it's there now.
  • Welp back in October yes, or at least that what it looked like. I went to the Atlantic Linux Showcase and their were two diffrent girls that follow Rob, Freshmeat man , and the Themes.org editor. They didn't look to bad, but I'm still convinced thats why Rob didn't go naked to that convetion. One of his friends has spice girl shoes on!??!?!?!?.
  • We play Quake, Quake2 and DOOM.
  • come west, young man. we're waiting for you.
  • I saw it on eBay!
  • That was pretty funny, and really made me nostalgic. You know, modern games like Grim Fandango are awful cool, but they just aren't the same as the old text-games. Games like Zork had some real character. Also: I kind of like the idea of an adventurer trapped in an office, murking around with printers and evil coworkers, reading notes from bosses. I understand that people still write these games, maybe I should try my hand some time...

    This almost makes me want to reboot into DOS...guess it's time to install dosemu on this puppy.

  • There is one solution: just forget about it. Forget all about sex (it's just another neurochemical high). Forget about "having a girlfriend" as a symbol of social acceptance. (Symbols are themselves meaningless.) Reject the social conditioning and genetic programming that tells you to find a mate; you are more than a puppet of your genes. That's ultimately all that courtship is about; your genes looking for ways to reproduce themselves.

    Instead focus on enjoying what is to be enjoyed, be it conversation with friends or seeing films or playing in a band or photographing landscapes, with no goal in mind other than to enjoy what you're doing. (That's the important part. If you go out for the purpose of trying to find a partner, it won't work.)

    Stop angsting. You've survived so far alone, and you can survive for longer. Besides, not being alone brings its own share of problems. Having a girlfriend does not guarantee happiness; if you're prone to unhappiness, all it does is trade your existing discontent for new kinds. And throw out all your Smiths records.

    Become content with being alone; find satisfaction within. Get out from in front of the computer for the purpose of enjoying what life has to offer you now. Widen your interests, and make the best use of your life as it is now. Above all things, to thine own self be true.

    Perhaps you won't then always be alone; but even if you are, you'll have a better time of it.

    "Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it."
    -- Black Box Recorder
  • Do I use xanim?
    Other options?
    Will my 486-66 cut the mustard?
  • The hell of it is, the guy "running" the "auction" linked his own eBay profile to this page, and has actually gotten comments, including 6 positive feedbacks, for this page! (Some of the comments are a riot, too...)

    My guess is, if/when eBay spots this, he's probably hosed...but they really ought to just give him a commendation for original thinking.


  • Does anyone have a URL for the other O'Reilly
    parody that was posted on slashdot some time ago?
    It was hilarious (Jesus in a Nutshell is mildly amusing).

  • heh heh heh [onastick.net]
  • The nice thing about Amish pron is that if you posted it, they would never know about it!

  • Thanks! I'll poke around and dig out the rest of the info I might need myself (ISTR seeing xanim mentioned on freshmeat)
  • I found this hilarious... check out this EBay prank page.
    Reply how you like it.
  • While it isn't true that geekiness will get you babes, I don't think the reverse is true either.

    Just be yourself; that's worked for me (it's good to go out and talk to people a bit more though...)

  • I asked it "Is Solaris the coolest OS in the known universe?" and it said "My reply is no"...

    I would have expected at least "Reply hazy, try again..."

    Maybe if I had asked about Linux? ;-)
  • Hmm... i don't know, i don't wanna be all righteous and stuff... but although i am NOT offended by the web, and am actually involuntarily amused to a certain degree, I just think the joke is in bad taste. That is all.
  • I found this [weekly.org] In the latest Be newsletter. I nearly peed my pants reading it. Enjoy!
    David E. Weekly (dew)
  • Goto ebay, and enter the search terms human soul...
    I came up with 4 hits. Items are no longer available, but they are in the engine.....

What is algebra, exactly? Is it one of those three-cornered things? -- J.M. Barrie